7 Years Is 7 Years Too Many

I've always been a once-a-week binge drinker but over the last 7 years I've been an everyday abuser. Monumental changes in my life - a child and a husband- has left me not knowing quite what to do a night. With very little time available for myself I resort to cramming down as many drinks as possible. Each night I get no sleep and go on psychological warfare with myself over my drinking. I'm constantly feeling guilty about my behavior and dread going to my GP incase I've ruined or am ruining my health. I'm on a downhill spiral and don't know how to stop it. Occasionally I stop drinking for a few nights but am so pleased with myself that I then celebrate thinking that I'll revert back to not drinking right after the celebration is over, but of course that never happens - I'm always back to square one.

How do you get passed this need for alcohol? I'm getting so depressed over it and it is now affecting my work.
Wtbaf13 Wtbaf13
46-50, F
3 Responses Jan 23, 2013

First thing I want you to know is I'm not preaching at you!!Because I've been a heavy drinker for years.There is AA and I have gone to meetings for years.It does help and some people do stop for ever.I still attend meetings and I know it doesn't hurt.I can relate to your situation and I DO wish you the best!!!!!

I know what you are saying because quite often I find myself in the exact same situation. I guess I am quite fortunate in that I get such horrific hangovers that it prevents me from doing it every night. Otherwise there is a chance I would. The turning point for me this time which is making me want to stop totally is the thought that my children deserve more than a drunk mother. They have never seen my drunk yet, as it is always if i'm out or when they are in bed, but I am sure as they get older they will become less oblivious. The reason I am giving you a bit of my background is because I think our situations are similar. I think you could do what I did and look at who you are hurting. If you don't feel that giving up for yourself is enough of a reason, then what about your child and husband. You haven't mentioned how it affects your marriage?. You said you can stop drinking for a few nights, so you have already proven that you don't 'need' it. You are just looking for an excuse for a drink like I do, and the idea of a 'celebration' is as good a reason as any. You said you don't do much of an evening. Could you maybe get some plans...a coffee with friends, or a cinema trip. You didn't mention why you don't do much?. x

Thank you for responding, and it's good to know that there's someone else in a similar situation. I drink simply because I'm bored out if my mind. Doing homework, making dinner, reading bedtime stories, preparing for the next day, etc. etc. I know that's not politically correct because I'm supposed to just love looking after my family but it is hardly intellectually stimulating. I find my few hours on an evening that I have - outside of my really job - are consumed entirely by "chores" of some sort. My way of carving out some space in my head to think about myself is to drink!

That's the truth of my matter!

First you need to stop beating yourself up-Life can be overwhelming and alcohol is an easy fix. See a professional and possibly an anti anxiety drug can help with the cravings if you try to quit. If I can do it anyone can. I drank heavily off and on from 14-42-and I sabotaged a great deal of my life. It is not worth it and you deserve better. I will pray for you tonight.