I'm Depressed Because Of My Dwai

I don't consider myself to be a bad person. I love to learn, engage in intelligent conversations, and have meaningful relationships with the people around me. Also - I really hate getting in trouble. I grew up with my grandparents, and they were definitely strict. So getting in trouble for lying about going to a party or something, meant 2 or 3 weeks grounded from my car, the computer, whatever they decided that week. I hated it! I always tried to be good so I wouldn't get the important things taken away.. haha. Anyway, I graduated and started going to school in Denver. Fast forward... April 1st, at 1:00am, I decided to drive myself home from a house party/birthday party I'd been at since 10 or so that night. I wasn't in the best mood considering a) we had showed up way later than expected to the party b) the girl who's birthday it was was more of an aquaintance than a friend c) my ex showed up. So, rather than sticking around any longer, I just decided to head home early and avoid any drama. With a bud light in my hand, I strolled out to my car and drove away from the house. Within 10 or 15 mins I noticed the cop behind me, and was trying hard to not do anything wrong. But I was definitely a little tipsy, as I was spending more time looking in the rear-view mirror at him than at the road. I didn't hit anything - but I was told that I touched the center line twice. We were driving on a 4 lane road, 2 roads for each direction of traffic. Anyway, that was sucky, but he pulled me over.. I did roadsides then got arrested and taken to detox. My car was towed, got that back and (luckily!) got to drive around for a little while longer, actually about 2 months. Went to court July 1st, and recieved the following charges & consequences:

1 yr probation @ $50/mo
24 hrs community service $100
$895.00 court fees
Level 2 DUI Classes $325
MADD meeting $256
License taken away for a year

OH, and.. the judge my case was assigned to normally gives people under the age of 21 a minimum 2 days in jail. I was 19 when I got arrested. Luckily for me, that judge happened to be out for the day. The DA was going to leave it up to the replacement judge to determine whether I'd spend the two days in jail, but then asked if I had attended any DUI classes. Luckily, the night I was arrested the cops told me that it might be a good idea to start classes before I went to court, and that might look good to the judge. So I told the DA about my enrollment, and that I had just 2 wks until my 12wks of class were completed.. and he scratched out the jail time!

Life is stressful when these situations fall on you, and especially when you're trying to comply with all the requirements. I've had to pay towing fees, breathalizer fees, public transportation, probation, court fees, community service fees, classes.. the list goes on and on. This is what I find the most depressing. You have to keep up with all of the expenses, and if you don't - they'll take you to jail! I'm a full time student right now, and have to be because I recieve a full ride scholarship. I'm trying to get a job, but living in Denver and getting a job is tough, especially when I have such a crammed school schedule. It's a vicious cycle. So - just trying to stay positive with $795 rent/utilities, $50 probation until july, $80 court fees till july.. and potentially finding time to work a part time so I can stay afloat. 

That in itself is extremely depressing.  But on top - I'm away from my family & close friends.  I thought moving away from them would be good, to get out and experience the world away from my small town.  And don't get me wrong, it definitely was!  It's just times like these when you'd really like a group of loving people to surround you.  Friends that I partied with that night wouldn't even answer the phone the next day to pick me up from the detox center.  One of 4 or 5 of them has contacted me since that night, the others continue to ignore me.  After telling a trusted friend about my conviction a few days after it happened, she told her roommate - and the news spread.  I'm not ashamed of my mistakes, but I don't like people to have the wrong impressions about me because of them.. and definitely don't like it if it isn't coming out of my own mouth.  So on top of being expensive, this has driven some of my friends away.. when I didn't want them to go, I can't drive, and it isn't going to be over for 8 more months.

Just can't wait until all of this is over.

But on the bright side.. I have everything complete except 16 hours of community service, and of course paying the court fines.  But no more classes to attend!  Trying to always stay positive in a pit of disaster!

With one last note - seriously - don't drink and drive :)