First Offense ... Life Sucks

Huh. How could this happen? I had a serious case of "could never happen to me", especially for the amount that I drank and drove. I guess there were nights where I was shitfaced and almost expected to get caught, on the lookout for cops, paranoid, etc. But I did it anyway. Then there were nights like that fateful night. I was bored at the bars, not very drunk, and it's a straight shot from the bar scene to my apartment. One month and one week ago tonight, I wasn't even worried in the slightest about getting caught.

Next thing I know, I'm distracted by the buzzing of my phone in the seat next to me, I feel my tires graze the median, and cop lights explode behind me. I know I'm screwed. I quickly ****** off my wristband for the all you can drink PBR special at the bars and pop in a piece of gum. The officer approached faster than I expected.

Stupidly, I blamed my careless driving on texting, somehow hoping that he'd let me off. "Oh, just texting? Alright young man, put that phone away when you're driving and be careful... lots of drunks out at this hour!" Nope. That was only my first mistake. Next, I handed him an expired insurance card. And then another. Possibly a third. I had forgotten to put my new insurance card in my car and I was immediately flustered. My perfect plan of acting sober was going to **** as I fumbled through my glove box.

Before I knew it, I was out on the sidewalk doing the sobriety tests. I actually did pretty good on them! No stumbling, no slurring, didn't **** anything up while I was saying it. By the end of the tests, I felt like I maybe was only buzzed and below the legal limit. I gladly obliged to the breathalyzer. Later, I found out that when they pull you over, you're pretty much already going to jail. I still thought I was going to get out of this, haha. Well, I blew a .11 and was arrested. First time ever being arrested actually. Cuffs are so uncomfortable, damn. And the back seats of those cars, really? Plus they ****** up my white shorts, got black smudges all over them. Bastards.

I was being a smartass with the cops. Didn't say anything incriminating (I hope). Guess I'll find out in court!

The drunk tank was interesting. Some kid was really high and his dad wouldn't come get him. I kinda snickered as they took him off to get changed into the orange jumpsuit to spend the night. Karma struck when my bail bondsman took like 2 hours to come get me after they said it would only be 20 minutes and not to call anyone else. I also got like 5 other stupid citations... reckless driving, wide lane turn (really?), texting and driving (not even true, ugh)... among other things.

I guess my story is a lot better than most. It's my first offense, didn't wreck my car, didn't hurt anyone. Only blew a .11. Still, my punishment is complete bullshit. I plead not guilty and now, as they stretch this out as far as possible, I have to do breathalyzer tests every morning and evening. What the **** is that ****? I plead NOT guilty... is it "guilty until proven innocent" now?? I wouldn't really care, but each test costs $3 a pop, or about $180/month. Plus, the old fart who works there in the morning takes his sweet time. I'm always late as is and this isn't helping! I opted to hire a DUI attorney too, so there's another $2K out the window. Hopefully he can do better than a public pretender. Anyway, the point is that I'm hemorrhaging money. I'm grateful I'm just a stupid college kid with a support system, and not someone who has to provide for a family or someone who has a good enough job that would fire me for this. I can see how this would totally ruin someone's life.

I'm going to change my life, though. Like I said, I was drinking and driving a lot and had a very careless attitude. That will never happen again. I won't be someone who gets another DUI. I was also mixing pills and alcohol. I was on an antidepressant and klonopin that night. That is just asking for trouble... so, even though I'm sure I will drink again, I will never mix alcohol and pills again because that is really dangerous. I've also vowed to never text and drive, even though I wasn't the night I got my DUI. It's something I used to do pretty regularly and I've heard some tragic stories. Maybe this whole thing was some kind of sign. Who knows. All I know is I can't wait for this **** to be over and for life to go back to normal.
cuntrymuzic cuntrymuzic
Sep 9, 2012