Where To Start

Where to start with the family stuff, well I'm sure it roots back to my gma and gpa having too much control over my dad and his bros. He owned a shop and his 3 sons all worked for him so he dictated their working lives and home lives. My grandparents owned the house across the street and convinced my pops to move in there on the idea he could have it really cheap because he was family. Well while the idea of a cheap good house sounds great, it did come with many many strings attached. For 1, my dad still worked at the shop (low wage and no benefits) and lived across the street so the control factor was still there. Not to mention one of his bros was a mental patient that was given every excuse in the book for how he acted and the fact he was never forced to work and his treatment was not monitored. Even though my grandma was a nurse I don't think she wanted o admit her son had a problem that she couldn't control.

Anyway through the years different fights started over the classics like money and behavior. But the real kicker was religion. My gma and gpa were very very very strick catholics. Anyone that wasn't was viewed as going "to the wrong church" This is common, i know old school Baptist, Jews, Greek Orthodox that all have the same view. But they really took it too far, to the point that my aunt decided she was gonna go to another church and once my grandma found out about she cut her off completely. (really following the teachings huh?) lol Well i guess my point is that by seeing all this bullshit iv come to the realization that: just because a family is a white, educated, employed, church going type does not mean jack **** as far as screwed up ways of thinking. It has prepared me for things that do come in life as I can spot someone trying to manipulate me a mile way, keep a little emotional distance even though its very hard and you may come off as ***** but it beats the fallout, NEVER work for a family member (if you must, be sure that boundaries are set or its just temp) I could go on and on about things that have happened, somethings I'm not sure I want to talk about and other things that were taken so serious by members of my family but are laughable to me. This is enough rambling, Iv just realized also that if I want to start fresh it has to be in another location.

HowAboutNoScott HowAboutNoScott
22-25, M
3 Responses May 1, 2010

Good on you for being so perceptive.

In my experience, working for a narcissistic parent amounted to being publicly shamed just because they can. It was so confusing when I was a teenager to experience such injustice. Wasn't until an adult that I realized this was just egotistical posturing by someone who couldn't stand up to anyone in his professional or social life. Hence the bullying of own family members.

Sorry, I saw you said something then I forgot to say something back. When I look back on this sometimes I get SO angry at how many things could have been avoided if there was just some distance with them. I have such a hard time trusting people after seeing this, Im usually nice but I have like an uncontrollable tendency not to want to get too close to most people aside from a few. I just dont want a re-run of this sh*t. <br />
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Thanks for the compliment though, sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and I have to tell myself I'm working to put that all behind me.

Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders...good luck in all you do, wherever and whatever that might be.