Dysfunctional Love

Although there is a lot of love in my family, there is also a lot of dysfunction.  My mom is very controlling and sometimes she says things that are mean.  She doesn't realize what she says and how it could effect other people.  One time i said I would help clean up the Christmas decorations which I enjoy doing, rather than decorating and I missed a few things and she was like use your eyes.  I've learned over time that it's really how she feels about herself and it really has nothing to do with mr.  But I sometimes wish she would grow up and be more open and honest and direct, instead of being assumptious and always complaining.  After all she has been divorced from my father who was an alcoholic for more than 25 years and she's still holding back while he hgas moved on.  Another example is she won't admit to being Santa and she won't use more adult terms around her grown children and she hides stuff from us or tries to.