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My Family Is a Dysfunction

I think my family put the "dis" in dysfunctinal.  My grandparents had three children, two girls and one boy.  My aunt has been married 6 or 7 times, during which she had three girls and one boy.  My male cousin was gay and died of AIDS that he contracted while tricking his way across the state to get away from his abusive father.  My aunt has had, or believes she has had, every disease imaginable, and is now so ill due to the medications she took for all of her believed diseases that she needs the medications to stay alive.  My mother carried the guilt of her father's death throughout her life.  She married a 30 something year old man when she was 16 and was raped by two sailors shortly after.  She became an alcoholic and drug addict and became so addicted to cigarettes that she could not sleep eight hours without waking up to have a smoke.  She married a total of 7 times and had 7 children, 5 girls and 2 boys.  Only one of her children were from men to whom she was married.  She finally broke her addictions to drugs and alcohol but suffered from the guilt for what she put her children through, lived her last few years with the help of an oxygen tank, as she never quit smoking, and finally died of emphysema.  I don't remember her ever working.  I remember her once, in a drunken rage, beating the crap out of a woman in our apartment complex for mouthing off to her children.  I also, like WyldHoney, remember my mother being taken away by ambulance, although due to an alcohol overdose.

My uncle, who served as my father figure during my childhood, was gay and was sent off to military school to "straighten him out."  There, he was molested by his commanding officer.  He hooked up with a 30+ year old man when he was 19 and remained with this man for many years, not knowing that his partner was molesting me and my sister.

My two oldest sisters shared the same father and spent much of my earliest years living summers with him.  They were both molested by my mother's choices of partners.  My oldest has been married 7 times and is an alcoholic.  She had 4 children, all girls, but allowed the fathers to keep them.  The second sister has been married 4 times and had two girls with her first husband.  Both of these sisters had their first child before the age of 18.

My sister just above me and my brother just below me all had the same father, although my mother never married him.  The sister was molested by at least two of my mother's partners, then married a man who raped her for 17 years.  She had two girls and two boys from this man.  She, thank God, is now married to a wonderful man who has given her one more child, a boy.  My brother never finished high school, dropping out to support a girlfriend's education.  The girlfriend left him as soon as she graduated.  He got a good job using his intelligence but never went back to school.  He then impregnated a woman, married her, then she divorced him.  He married another woman a year later, then divorced her.  He moved and I have not heard from him in five years.  He was physically abused by a demon named Red but was never directly sexually abused.  He did suffer through being made a part of a stepfather's abuse of my younger sister, though.

My first younger sister was probably the worst abused of us all.  She was sexually abused by a stepfather and at least two other adult men.  She was also physically and mentally abused by my mother and every one of her partners.  She is now schizophrenic and has been married twice.

My youngest sister lived with no housing stability.  She lived with my mother in bars, cars, on the streets, and in rundown apartments.  She was sexually abused by my mother's boyfriends and often had to witness the abuse of our mother.  I acted as her father figure when she was young, determined that she would not receive the abuse the rest of us had.  I could only do so much, though.  This sweet little girl turned out to be a strong willed, level headed young woman whom no boy dared to abuse.  She married a rich boy from Georgia who then turned into a tyrant with the backing of his parents.  She dumped him and, after several years, married a wonderful man to help her raise her son.

Although I was the middle child, I was the first boy.  As such, I was my mother's favorite.  Shortly after I entered kindergarten, my mother pimped me out to fat old men, telling me that I was helping to earn grocery money so the family could eat.  I believed her.  Then my mother married Red, who gave me nightmares long after she had divorced him.  My brother and I had developed a habit of rocking our heads on our pillows and singing in order to drown out our mother's cries in the room next to us and this habit bothered Red.  He beat us if he saw it.  Red not only abused us, he was proud of his actions.  Once, after forcing feces into my mouth and threatening me if I pushed it out or threw up, he called over neighbors to see what he had done.  At the age of 8, I was molested by my uncle's boyfriend.  I was whipped across the back and legs by a belt by my mother's last husband.  In order to survive, I, like my siblings, learned to stay out of the house whenever possible.  When I had to be home, I learned to be a goody-goody, following all the rules whenever anyone was watching.  I was the first to finish college.  I have now been married for 19 1/2 years.  Although our marriage is suffering serious problems, we are going through counseling in the hopes of keeping it alive.  I just finished some intense therapy and have three wonderful and talented children who are intent on driving me back to the therapist.  Although my siblings and I were very close as children, we have very little contact with each other anymore.  I used to call and write to them frequently but got tired of the fact that they did not follow suit.  I'm surviving just fine without them, though.

deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 8, 2008

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Thought mine was dysfunctional enough....God will bless you, hang on there.

this is not disfunctional.

Oh my JimmO,I went through abuse as a child but nothing like that. I worked through my issues with a good therapist,it took me a while to find one but it really helped. You helped your family as much as you could when you were growing up,remember you were in that situation too. I have found a sort of peace,my life didn't end up how I expected it to but I've decided that that's alright. [[[HUGS]]]

I wish you every blessing Jimmo, and hope that you can heal from this 'nightmare of abuse".

Some people shouldn't be parent's :)



Bless you heaps Feflower