I Have a Dysfunctional Family
I'm not even sure what to say or where to begin... I'm just so frustrated with how things have turned out. This is a rant. A long rant that I really have no one to vent to, so here I am...
As a courtesy to my fiance's parents, we took over their house so they could move to Florida without needing to go through the hassle of selling - they wouldn't get a decent price for it anyways, they didn't take care of it for almost thirty years and it's practically falling apart all around us. We only pay $1,200 in rent and pay our own cable and internet bill, and we've paid out of pocket for just about every minor repair that's been needed over the last year. If any of the utilities go up above their average cost, we pay the difference - so we try not to waste any heat or electricity.
I wouldn't have anything to complain about if that was all we had to deal with, but shortly before we moved in, my fiance's sister suddenly needed a place to stay until she could get back on her feet. She ended up taking the dining room and front room for herself, and what was only supposed to last six months has now turned into over a year.
At first I felt sorry for her, she's an aid for a local elementary school and works with autistic children, and ended up losing her job. She did manage to get a position as a permanent sub though, but since we all moved in together, it's been a living hell. The list of inconsiderate things she's done is so long...slamming her doors in the middle of the night, leaving her dog's giant piles of crap all around the yard, taking the trash out of the can and leaving it on the kitchen floor for someone else to take outside, moving my laundry from the washer straight into the basket instead of the dryer...
The first time we tried to talk to her about being more respectful to us and the house was only two months after we moved in. We adopted a border collie-lab mix, small for her breed and very well behaved if not a little stubborn. We had the space and wanted a dog in the house, and his parents said it was fine. A month later, she went and adopted a dog herself, despite the fact her father had said no because she DOESN'T have the space - let alone the responsibility. When she told us, we assumed she was getting something small because she only has two small rooms...but instead she picked a 70lb pit bull mix...with the most severe case of emotional trauma I'd ever seen...
This poor animal shed profusely and trembled uncontrollably. He peed the minute she brought him into the kitchen and wouldn't move from the corner. Men couldn't go near him, and everything literally scared the crap out him. It was mandatory that there be another dog in the home for him to have been adopted out, but she never lets him play with our dog and has kept him locked up in her rooms for a year now, sometimes all night while she's out partying. I admit he's gotten better, but he was never fully rehabilitated and still shows signs of neglect and abuse.
Anyways, the first couple of weeks were a nightmare... Finally we tried to tell her that this dog should not have been given to her without being rehabilitated and he wasn't doing well here, and she immediately flipped out and threw a tantrum, crying to my future mother-in-law (mind you she's almost 27 years old). My fiance's mother is an enabler and tries to be his sister's friend, and whenever there's a problem, she sides with his sister and we end up biting the bullet.
And that's how it's been for just about everything that's happened this last year. Thing is she never tells their father when she's doing something he's against, and has their mother keep it a secret from him until he finds out and it's too late, and then THEY get into a fight. Half the time we don't know either, and we almost got kicked out of the house because she didn't pay rent for three months, and their father thought we were stiffing him. Now finally the camel's back has broken... She was supposed to be moving out next weekend into an apartment with this guy she met in December, but it fell through (suspicions lead to her dog) and now apparently this guy needs someplace to stay until they can find something.
I'm almost five months pregnant now and getting married soon, the space we have is limited (his parents left a lot of junk), and my fiance had to give his parents the ultimatum - either she goes or we do, and if we do, he's cutting them off completely. You'd think his parents would understand that without us, they have to sell this house for a quarter of its original value. Our rent has been paying the mortgage, we've been acting as property managers for another house they rent out, and since they never changed their mailing address to all their bills and bank statements, we've been acting as their accountants. And to top it top it all off, his father still treats him like a second class citizen half the time.
After fighting with his sister and giving his parents that harsh ultimatum, we've heard nothing from either of them for over a day now. I suspect they're just waiting for this to blow over, thinking he isn't serious. It's not the first time they've used the distance between us to their advantage. We don't want to move again, it's costly and exasperating, and we had planned to buy this house and turn it into our family home until we flipped and sold it for what it use to be worth. What was suppose to be an equitable agreement between parents and son has turned into nothing but drama and he-said-she-said bullshit.
The hard part now is making the final decision to leave, which everyone we've talked to said is the right thing to do at this point. My fiance is just so defeated by all of this, having your insane family treat you like you're the crazy one is breaking his heart. I'm trying to support him, but as much as I hate going through the process of house hunting and saving up the money it costs to move, I can't stand living like this anymore...
As a courtesy to my fiance's parents, we took over their house so they could move to Florida without needing to go through the hassle of selling - they wouldn't get a decent price for it anyways, they didn't take care of it for almost thirty years and it's practically falling apart all around us. We only pay $1,200 in rent and pay our own cable and internet bill, and we've paid out of pocket for just about every minor repair that's been needed over the last year. If any of the utilities go up above their average cost, we pay the difference - so we try not to waste any heat or electricity.
I wouldn't have anything to complain about if that was all we had to deal with, but shortly before we moved in, my fiance's sister suddenly needed a place to stay until she could get back on her feet. She ended up taking the dining room and front room for herself, and what was only supposed to last six months has now turned into over a year.
At first I felt sorry for her, she's an aid for a local elementary school and works with autistic children, and ended up losing her job. She did manage to get a position as a permanent sub though, but since we all moved in together, it's been a living hell. The list of inconsiderate things she's done is so long...slamming her doors in the middle of the night, leaving her dog's giant piles of crap all around the yard, taking the trash out of the can and leaving it on the kitchen floor for someone else to take outside, moving my laundry from the washer straight into the basket instead of the dryer...
The first time we tried to talk to her about being more respectful to us and the house was only two months after we moved in. We adopted a border collie-lab mix, small for her breed and very well behaved if not a little stubborn. We had the space and wanted a dog in the house, and his parents said it was fine. A month later, she went and adopted a dog herself, despite the fact her father had said no because she DOESN'T have the space - let alone the responsibility. When she told us, we assumed she was getting something small because she only has two small rooms...but instead she picked a 70lb pit bull mix...with the most severe case of emotional trauma I'd ever seen...
This poor animal shed profusely and trembled uncontrollably. He peed the minute she brought him into the kitchen and wouldn't move from the corner. Men couldn't go near him, and everything literally scared the crap out him. It was mandatory that there be another dog in the home for him to have been adopted out, but she never lets him play with our dog and has kept him locked up in her rooms for a year now, sometimes all night while she's out partying. I admit he's gotten better, but he was never fully rehabilitated and still shows signs of neglect and abuse.
Anyways, the first couple of weeks were a nightmare... Finally we tried to tell her that this dog should not have been given to her without being rehabilitated and he wasn't doing well here, and she immediately flipped out and threw a tantrum, crying to my future mother-in-law (mind you she's almost 27 years old). My fiance's mother is an enabler and tries to be his sister's friend, and whenever there's a problem, she sides with his sister and we end up biting the bullet.
And that's how it's been for just about everything that's happened this last year. Thing is she never tells their father when she's doing something he's against, and has their mother keep it a secret from him until he finds out and it's too late, and then THEY get into a fight. Half the time we don't know either, and we almost got kicked out of the house because she didn't pay rent for three months, and their father thought we were stiffing him. Now finally the camel's back has broken... She was supposed to be moving out next weekend into an apartment with this guy she met in December, but it fell through (suspicions lead to her dog) and now apparently this guy needs someplace to stay until they can find something.
I'm almost five months pregnant now and getting married soon, the space we have is limited (his parents left a lot of junk), and my fiance had to give his parents the ultimatum - either she goes or we do, and if we do, he's cutting them off completely. You'd think his parents would understand that without us, they have to sell this house for a quarter of its original value. Our rent has been paying the mortgage, we've been acting as property managers for another house they rent out, and since they never changed their mailing address to all their bills and bank statements, we've been acting as their accountants. And to top it top it all off, his father still treats him like a second class citizen half the time.
After fighting with his sister and giving his parents that harsh ultimatum, we've heard nothing from either of them for over a day now. I suspect they're just waiting for this to blow over, thinking he isn't serious. It's not the first time they've used the distance between us to their advantage. We don't want to move again, it's costly and exasperating, and we had planned to buy this house and turn it into our family home until we flipped and sold it for what it use to be worth. What was suppose to be an equitable agreement between parents and son has turned into nothing but drama and he-said-she-said bullshit.
The hard part now is making the final decision to leave, which everyone we've talked to said is the right thing to do at this point. My fiance is just so defeated by all of this, having your insane family treat you like you're the crazy one is breaking his heart. I'm trying to support him, but as much as I hate going through the process of house hunting and saving up the money it costs to move, I can't stand living like this anymore...
By:
An EP User
