My Daughter Wants A Daddy But I Am Gay....

My five year old daughter (who has never had your father in her life) just told me that she really wants a daddy. I am gay and we live with my partner in a beautiful home but in a predominate straight neighborhood in va. I asked my daughter why she wanted a daddy and she said that all the other kids have them and that a boy in her class asked her where her's was and she said she didn't have one. The little one then tells her that she has to have a dad. I asked my daughter if she wanted a daddy other than my partner and she said no. She said that she wants it to be me, my partner, my daughter, and a daddy. She said that she loves my partner and she wants mommy to be with her but she wants a daddy. I told her that we love her very much and that all families are different. Some have two mommys, some have two daddys, some have just a mom, etc...etc... I talked to my partner about it and the only thing i got out of her was.."she needs to have thick skin" I never grew up without a dad. My partner has, so i would think that she would understand. What else can i say to my child to help her...i think she likes having two parents that are not men but she sees others with dads and wants to fit in...advice please! Thank you
sdcleaningsvcs sdcleaningsvcs
26-30, F
7 Responses Feb 4, 2013

Dust505....thanks a lot I agree

Is 5 too young to start learning that the world doesn't revolve around her?

If 5 is not too young to understand (I don't have children), maybe you could just tell her the truth about how sexuality works, and how some people are gay and some people are straight and because you're gay she has two female parents instead of one male and one female?

I don't think there isn't much you can do. It will sound harsh but you should lean her to think that she'll understand when she grows up. She won't get it until she gets the sexual dynamics of our society... Which is at least like realistically 7-10 years away. So maybe kill that isolating feeling in fact tell her she is pretty special and rare. There is nothing wrong with her and in life they are a lot lot lot of different people so she is without a dady. My mojo embrace the difference. Best of luck she just has a grandaddy (my dad) and her uncles (my brothers) but that's it...i mean she has my partner's step dad and bro but she hasn't known them but for maybe 9 months.... she is the baby of the family...she doesn't have any siblings or cousins that are close to her age. for 4 years it was just her and I and now it's my daughter, my partner and me. i knew this day would come but i was hoping that it wouldn't come until she was alittle older..

Any family or friends that could be a 'step dad' so to speak?

I explained to her that she has a grandaddy and two uncles but she still says that she wants a daddy...i don't know what to say to that

Is there anyone that could be her father figure? An uncle or really trustworthy family friend? She has you and your partner to love her and that is a blessing.