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My Dysfunctional Family

 

    It all begins with an Alcoholic father who was very abusive to my Mom and to us Children, Not only physical abuse but sexual abuse to me as a 13 year old child, I know he had to have done the same things to my older sisters but i never questioned them about it. He would get off work around 11 PM at night and start drinking on his way home from work which took about 45 Minutes one way, so he was pretty much lit by the time he got home, all of us kids knew we should be in bed or gone from the house because after he came in he would always start a fight with my Mom, who God bless her soul she was a wonderful woman who was raising 7 children, I remember having to duck wine bottles flying across the room and run from my Dad as he reached out to grab my arm yelling to me that i was a W**** at the age of 13, how could that be?  anyway he was an alcoholic all through my childhood and finally stopped drinking when i turned 17 because the Doctors told him if he didn't stop drinking right now, he would be dead within a year, well , that really scared him and he quit cold turkey and never took another sip of it. I still had ill feelings towards my Dad even after i graduated from High School, and later on I forgave him for everything as he lay on his death bed from cancer.

    Well, Now I have two brothers and one sister that are Alcoholics, both of those brothers have been in and out of prison over the last 10 years for either DWI offenses or Armed Robery, talk about embarrassing to have brothers that people associate you with that are like that.  The one sister that is the Alcoholic is also guilty of stealing from my Mothers checking account, wow, what a dysfunctional family i have?  I just hope that my friends  and future girl friend understand that i am not my brothers or sisters keeper, and i am not like them in any way whatsoever. I try to live my life the best i can live it and hope noone judges me on my other family members behaviours.

confusedone confusedone 41-45, F 13 Responses Jan 2, 2009

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Sounds like you have been through alot but is great that you have forgiven him by

My family was like that also. My father was an alcoholic and treated my mother like she was a nuisance while making sure she was pregnant all the time so other men wouldn't look at her. I remember the fighting which always ended up with him leaving and her crying. My 12 siblings and I all have some form of dysfunction due to our childhoods, but I try my best each day to see the good side of life. It isn't as easy as it should be on many days.

I'll do what I can honey.

choctawgrrl, Thanks for helping me feel a little bit better about things, It would be extra nice to have someone special to spend Christmas with so I wouldn't have to worry about my family.

Confused..I am so sorry you were alone....You are a wonderful woman and it is THEIR loss darling! xoxoxox

Kindal, You are so right, I have been single now for a year. I forgot what it was like to be alone on holidays. It sucks big time. but i will survive.

Thank you Kindal, you are right about never being able to forget. I spent this Thanksgiving alone with my Basset hound because of my homophobic family not inviting me over. Sometimes I wonder why I even have a family.

redefine,<br />
Thank you for the words of Incouragement, I know it's not to late for them, It is just very discouraging looking back at the things they have done.

confusedone,<br />
like you i struggle with my past and work hard to get past the hurt and pain of an abusive childhood. my two brothers kicked their drug addiction after 20 years of abuse, so there is hope for your brothers and sister.

Mrsbarrett, <br />
Thank you for your comment, I have actually seen a therapist, I do have some baggage from this whole ordeal and i am still working on it, I have problems with Low self esteem, and having problems with confrontations especially when someone raises their voice at me for any reason i tend to shy away from them and walk away. this is especially true around Men.

choctawgrrrl,<br />
You are right about family being baggage sometimes that we have to overcome, It is what they have allowed themselves to get involved in that has lifted me up to see what i don't want in my life.

I am so sorry. I lay in bed at night and think of all the hundreds of thousands of innocent children that have to live lives like that at the hands of their own parents. HOW can a human being be so cruel to a child??????? I am glad to see that you have seperated yourself and not fallen into the same dyfunctional life trap. It is possible yet unusual. You are an exception to the rule. My cousin and myself are also exceptions. It takes a certain personality to pull through something like that. I do know that you MUST have some type of baggage. This HAD to affect you somehow so perhaps you should go to a therapist. You might be surprised at what surfaces that you didnt know was there. And this my prevent a lot of heartache in the future. Good luck to you and may peace be with you.

I am sorry that your family dynamic has been so skewed and screwed..I understand, I truly do!<br />
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Remember, you are not your circumstances and anyone that truly loves you will accept you for yourself. Families are baggage sometimes that we have to overcome...I certainly am learning to do that.<br />
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hugs and blessings my friend:)