My Mom Is Stage 4

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer my sophmore year in high school.  I was confused and didn't know what was going on very well, and we didn't talk about it too much.  We'd go to chemo with her and stuff, but we didn't talk about it as much as distract her from it.  The cancer cleared up and we thought we were in the clear by the end of my senior year. 

I went to college and she found out that the cancer had come back.  She told me over this past summer.  Then she told me the cancer had spread, and that it was terminal; the doctors had given her three years.  I told her it was a number, and that it didn't matter.  She'd been going throgh more chemo when just a month ago they told her they coudn't do any more chemo and had to wait and hope they got it or something like that.  She told me to pray for her, and I couldn't tell her I hadn't prayed for a long time.  I just said I would, and have a couple times. 

Then a few weeks ago she gave me a call and told me that she needed to tell me something.  I had just gotten out of the car with my roomate and was on the phone and had been talking with her about school and everything.  I was standing in the corner setting down my backpack when she told me they had found a spot on her brain, and she needed to go through radiation; she told me that there was a chance that she'd get some dementia symptoms.  The real kicker was that I had planned her a surprise 50th birthday for next week.  (We went ahead with it, and it was great, but she was very tired.)  I just broke down crying after I hung up.  I'm having difficulty concentrating and I'll think about it in the stuent union or someplace and need to go find a place to cry in private.  There's a huge weight on me and my family, and I don't know what to do.

CheshireCat23 CheshireCat23
18-21, M
Feb 23, 2010