My Mum Died On Christmas Day

I know now that she is a peace. The torments of er minds have stopped and she is now free. I shall focus my attention on her partner Brian who also has schizophrenia. Perhaps by knowing and helping him, it is one step closer to my mum.

All the people who were scared of her, who saw a stereotype or assumed things, had no idea how much love she shared to the world, although they did not give it back. They could not see Carol for all the illness making her appear angry and aggressive. I wish alll people could know what its like to know someone with a mental illness, so they can look past the stigma of it... My mum was acaring, loving mother with a heart of gold. No one saw that.... except Brian and me... now she is dead, collapsed on the bedroom floor dead... from pnemonia.. too scared to ask for help from the doctor.. to scared to leave the house...

But most of all I let her down. Made to believe my mother was evil, unable to love me. My own family turned me against her, hating her....

Now, at 28 I know its wrong, that she is my loving mother, who would never stop loving me... but I was too late.... Too late to tell her I love her too, and I'm sorry
taffytats taffytats
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 1, 2011

My mum is also called Carol and she also has schizophrenia x

taffytat, do you not think for one moment your mum dosint know that you love her she is in the rit place now and she knows, as you know that illness is desperatt and only people who live with people with this illniss knows how hard and evil a illness it is, and words cant describe the fear and tormel it can have on children and partners who live with it , poor brian , he is lucky he has you , you dont have any regrets about your mum as she knows all now, you get on with your life and be glad you have a life ,, x