Prostate Cancer

in the last month we have just found out that my dad has cancer.. i'm still in shock but also starting to feel sad... he's not the kind of person to ever be ill, he likes to keep going.. he's not even that old :( ~ i'm 26 but all of a sudden i feel like a tiny girl again so scared for my daddy.

It's prostate cancer as at the moment we know that it's deffinate and that he's waiting for  bone scans to see if it's spread.. we think it has though, he's in pain :(

It's so unfair.. he's so lovely and gentle.. yeah he has his downsides, don't we all? yeah he can be snappy and grumpy and stubborn like you wouldn't believe.. but he's my dad and i love him .. he's already spoken to my mum about having to be in a wheel chair.. this is my dad who goes sailing, organizes beer festivals, helps at agricultural shows... he CAN'T be poorly, ... he can't die :'(

I feel so lost.. i don't know how to feel or how to think or how to be.. i just want my happy, well daddy back!!

JustADaisy JustADaisy
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Wow what a lovely "friend"... I'd quite happily slap them for that if I saw them! It's not up to you to make anything up to your parents. The only way they'd want you to do anything like that is by being well, or as well as you can be - they love you to pieces so it's more important to them that you're looking after yourself than anything else no matter what else is going on. Obviously you want to be there for them - anybody would - but they don't expect you to be superhuman & they know you're hurting too. Maybe sometimes the fact you zone out is just to protect yourself a little so you can keep it from feeling so real & then support them a little more... I definitely do that when someone I love is unwell or having a really hard time. It's a good/bad thing for me. I don't get as upset because I feel that I'm doing something positive to help, but then I don't deal with what's going on either which isn't really great. I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to go through something like this anyway. It's more about what your intentions are & yours are 100% good so take no notice of anyone who says hurtful things to you - he IS your daddy too!!!<br />
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I got loads of hugs for you any time you need them so just shout :) xxxxx

Thank you honey, Hugs sound just perfect right now.. i dont think i've actually had a hug since i found out.. not a propper one.. It really sucks.. i'm trying to be strong for my parents and be positive but we all know the reality and the way things are going so far it's not looking good... it's so strange and unreal.. i'm not sure it's sunk in yet.. i keep talking about it and asking if they've heard anything else but its like i zone out and turn into someone else in someone elses life when i do..<br />
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I've also been told by a so called friend that i OWE it to my parents to be there for them after everything i put them though! (cause obviously i chose to have anorexia and be in hospital!!) and that i have to be responsible and grow up ... , i felt like screaming, hey y'know.. he's my daddy too!!<br />
<br />
*sigh*<br />
<br />
*budges up for more hugs*<br />
x x x

Honey I'm so sorry. Not that hearing that helps :(<br />
<br />
I just want to give you a hug & not let go til you start smiling even just a little bit...... Wish there was something I could do. The way you described your dad is exactly the way I see mine. I'm 30 now but I'l be his little girl forever so when he's ill I feel the way you feel now, although probably to a lesser extent....<br />
<br />
(((Hugs)))<br />
<br />
xxxxxx