Uncomfortable With Physical Contact

I have always needed my own space, even I was a small child I was uncomfortable with too much hugging.  I don’t know why but I feel resistance towards my mum, like hugging her just feels unnatural and I can remember this from an early age.  It’s like I was always rebelling against her, as soon as I was able I was wearing what I wanted and eating what I wanted.  I was always so independent and had to be self sufficient and that naturally kept people at a distance.

If someone touches me and I am not expecting I totally over react, like I on defensive or something.  You know sometimes people are just being friendly and poke you and I jump right out of my skin.  It takes me while to become comfortable with physical contact, I can’t stand people touching my neck.  The funny thing I actually do crave physical contact even though my body seems to act so strongly against it.

My theory is that I am hyper sensitive to touch, so when some one touches me I feel it so intensely that I over react.  The times when I have got physical with someone I can’t handle it; it’s just too much for me!

It might be a control issues, I have always been funny about the way things feel and what I eat.  When I was younger I had issues with eating and lost a lot of weight and looking back that was all about control.

My other theory is that my mum had post natal depression when I was a baby, I know that she really struggled on her own me as a demanding baby.  I think this early struggle made me learn that I had to be self reliant and this become ingrained!

To what extent are we born with such behaviours? Or are they a product of environment?  I don’t know if asking such questions is really that useful because whether there is an answer or not I will still be a person who is uncomfortable with physical contact!

I do see the advantages of being the way that I am don’t get me wrong!

eelarc eelarc 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Your Response


That could be a possibility but I can be pretty reckless in other ways, like I'll walk home by myself late at night or I'll go travelling by myself. If something awful did happen in a previous life would I not be afraid of such things!

I do beleive in reincarnation, however, I don't remember any previous lives so find it hard to think about what may have happened in others lives. I can only really make sense of this life!

I have a theory!, Well that's if you actually believe in any of this stuff.

But perhaps in past-lives something terrible must have happened to you, in which you couldn't forget/forgive yourself or the other person... what if you were raped? could explain to why you are so against all physical contact.

Oh, and for anybody who does not believe in Reincarnation, look into Quantum Physics and read about "Consciousness" =)