Low Chesteem

I've just recently discovered that I am extreme people pleaser. This means that it is super important that people think well of me. I've experienced the positives and negatives of this throughout my entire life because putting the opinions of others above my own does have its price. I have always tried my best to create a good impression of myself, especially physically. This has been a tiring process since people have different opinions and in reality you can't please everybody all of the time.

After wearing padded bras since I can remember, it just hit me that this is the one area that I definitely have to accept about myself before I can genuinely accept myself as a whole. I've considered getting implants but what if my real insecurity is about me instead of just about my chest? Then in my opinion I've just wasted a whole lot of money on something that I thought would restore my self-worth!

Although I am confident as I type this, there is still a feeling inside of, "why not just get the surgery done anyway"? This has been a battle in my mind for as long as I can remember.

highesteem highesteem
26-30, F
5 Responses Feb 18, 2010

Echoing the many sentiments here. I am always telling my teenage daughter how sad it is that so many of her friends have already decided that their best assets are parked on the front of their chests!!

I know as a man I have it easy, because a woman can't really assess the size of my sexy bits until she's pretty well invested.

Just be proud of what I am sure are the most beautiful, perfect pair of small breasts that have ever been seen, and no man worth a moment of your time will give a damn, I guarantee it.

NNNNOOOOOOO!!!! Don't do it!!!! There are guys (assumption: you are straight) that TRULY don't care at all and there are guys that PREFER small breasts. For the love of god, don't go and destroy something someone is absolutely wild about. I agree with enigmatti 100%; dealbreaker.

you should not try to make yourself into a freak.if a woman would get implants it would be a disqualifier to me.excess baggage,and not just the udders.

Screw the money... how about when you wake up in the E.R. clinging on to life because you wanted some tool to accept you even though they didn't already accept you??? It's a complete contradiction! You are who you are, love every bit of yourself to the fullest and when you find someone who does the same, if they are genuine they will love every bit of you just the way you are also... if not, move on. A lot of people have plastic surgery, and I don't judge them for it, obviously they "needed" it for their own reasons and justified the financial expense and gamble on their health. I just think you REALLY need to first say **** other people and their perceptions and really try and accept yourself first, without letting society influence you. Don't let the fact you can't buy a damn candy bar without looking at fifty magazines at the register showing half naked chicks with huge toob's bear weight on your decision or perception of yourself.<br />
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Oh, and when you find that person who loves you just the way you come... PLEASE do not torture them with your own insecurities and try wearing a jogging suit to bed as lingerie OK???

Thank you for your encouraging words. I love your advice because it is positive, healthy, and rings true in every way for me. It is nice to know that I am not the only one dealing with issues of self-confidence.