Today I was in the cafeteria with my friend. I've known her for a while, almost two years, and we always study after school and like go to each others' houses and stuff. She's super funny and nice and has a ton of friends. But today, during lunch, I just looked over. And there were thin, white scars up and down the bottom of her arms, in neat little rows, plus four or five new ones that had barely healed. I almost threw up, stuff like this really freaks me out. She usually wears long-sleeved shirts so I don't think it's that big of a deal. I never noticed or anything
I didn't say anything then. But afterwards when everyone was heading back to class I approached her. I couldn't find the words to say, but I pointed to the new cuts, "What happened?"
She tried shrugging, but she was blinking a lot and couldn't seem to find her voice. She looked at me, "Oh, it's no big deal. You shouldn't worry about it."
I lowered my voice, "Seriously, what's wrong?"
She looked at me like I had said a curse word or something. Like, totally offended, "Nothing! God, you overreact sometimes." I was really hurt, because she isn't the kind of person that ever gets mad, and we'd never gotten in a fight. She pushed ahead of me and didn't say anything after that, not during English or Math, even though she sits next to me in both. She kept holding her arms against her chest or pulling down her sleeves so no one would notice. But I did :(
I talked to her after school. She finally relented, and told me that her parents both worked and she was really lonely, and her parents pressured her to get good grades. Eventually she switched to cutting because she said it felt like it gave her control.
I don't know exactly what she meant and I don't know if I ever will. All I know is that I understand it a little better, cutting in general, because it's happened to someone really close to me now. And I want to support her and love her unconditionally, and help her through it. She's seemed a little distant from me since then, but I told her that I've got her back and she seemed grateful . . . .
Any advice? This is totally new territory for me.
sugarcoatedchainsaw sugarcoatedchainsaw
13-15, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

Acknowledge it but don't go overboard? Haha. I don't know your friend but when my friends found out they laughed at me in the bathroom and said I have a pumpkin carving set and carve myself up every night so as long as your not a ***** you probably can't go wrong xo

I would never say that! I want her to know that she has my support 100%. And even if I'm a little . . . nervous . . . I'll put it aside for her.

I'd say just quietly tell her you support her but don't go on about it, and don't act different :3

Okay. My sister told me that I should be like a sponge and just listen to what she has to say. True or false?

Sometimes you just want someone who will listen and not judge, so true, I guess :3

Okay. This helps.

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