Ever since I was little all I can remember is being able to feel one of two ways, either angry or scared.  I would either feel angry because my Step dad use to beat me with his leather belt.  Or I would feel scared because I knew he was going to do it again at anytime.  I never felt sad or cried because even at a young age I knew that what he wanted, and if I felt that way he would have won.  Now that I’m older I am finding it harder to process many feelings like joy, pride, and so on.  If seen therapist and taken pills.  That’s fine for some people but it never really works well for me.  I’ve been doing a form of meditation that I feel has really helped, plus a lot of physical activity.   
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May 28, 2007