From the time of my birth I ha...

From the time of my birth I have always had difficulty making friends.  At first it was because I wasn't correctly socially educated or adjusted.  You figure that if a child grows up in a family of teenage boys and middle aged women, then there's going to be a small problem.  For a long time I had a maturity complex.  After I grew into it, I had difficulty because I trusted too easily.  The people I called my friends really got over on me easily and were constantly causing me grief.  After I learned to be stingy with my friendship, I continued getting screwed over.  I didn't realize that every single person on this earth has the capability to be manipulated.  Now I'm so reluctant to allow an aquaintance too close to me.  I seemed to have forgotten the step in between.  And since I have extreme trust issues and a very low tolerance for deceit and lies, it's almost impossible for me to let anyone in past a certain point.
theophania theophania
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 14, 2007

(I have a problem making friends, so I am not an expert in any way shape or form. But it is for a completely different reason).<br />
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This is very hard because you have to trust before you can really make a friend. You have to trust that the person is kind and the person is not out to hurt you. So if you have trust issues based on the past then yes making friends can pretty much be impossible. I hate to say this but you might have to take a chance and trust someone if you truly want a friendship. There are different levels of trust. I wouldn't invite someone into my home right away, but for coffee or lunch I would be so inclined. I would trust there would be no harm in that social interaction. Based on your own experience that may be to much of a jump. You gotta tailor it to where you are comfortable. May be just conversations about things that interest you and the other person could be a start. Then progress to lunch, then more social outtings. I can say with certainty that if you never trust anyone than you will never make a true friend.

Hi Tizzanny. You have in the past been the victim of "sociopaths". Google this term and learn how to pick this personality type when you have met one. They all have similar traits, such as compulsive lying, stealing, false flattery and adultery and blaming others for their mistakes. Study what a sociopath is and after a while you will be able to work out who is a sociopath and who is not. Around 20% of the adult population are sociopaths and the gaols are full of them! But be warned: Most are well educated with "silver tongues" and they use flattery to manipulate you. I can pick a sociopath a mile away now, its pretty easy to spot one and believe me soon you will be able to do it too. PS: I have plenty of friends that I love and trust and so can you.

your story is all too familiar. i'm suspicious of everyone b/c, like you, i've been screwed over too many times. so for me, it's better safe than sorry.