My Life Is Hell

Together with ADD I've been diagnosed with an extremely high IQ of around 170 (140 in ravens matrix first, 170 in cft 20-r later. I think I could do better because on the test day I've been in terrible shape). It appears to be that the whole life I've had was moreless a complete delusion. 
I was completely delusional about how people conceive the world around them and the reasoning behind their actions. 
Therapy helped me to discover what people really think and why they are the way they are.
I've always thought that I am the one who is not fitting in and sought the guilt in me.
My perfect inability to complete any task necessitating concentration has rendered me useless for society.

College was hell. Learning things like differential equations was a task requiring hundreds of hours because learning the applicable rules and external mathematical nomenclature was nigh impossible. 
Of course, I always knew how differential equations work, way before I ever heard that someones invented them already.
Even school was hell. Nowadays I think forcing me into the german schooling system of the 80ies was kind of profound molestation.
Learning to sit quiet and shut up was possibly the most scarring experience in my life.

I'm just starting to understand the difference of the world outside to the world in my head, barely scratched the surface yet.
We're living in wonderful times.
sneezelor sneezelor
2 Responses May 23, 2012

170 That's pretty high. <br />
I just wonder. Whys that when you have exceptional brains you tend to conceive things differently? Just leaves you so disconnected from what others are living.

Just out of curiosity, do you have Asperger's Syndrome?