To Move On Or Not...what Do You Do? How Do You Stay Strong?Wow, I cannot even believe that I writing this right now, but I need to talk to someone who knows what I am going thru and it seems like you ladies do know. My husband has been gone for 1 month now, he is fininshing intake and we have no idea yet where he will end up. I haven't seen him for a month. We get to talk on the phone and it is very expensive. I love him very much, so much, but I feel guilty sometimes because of my emotional rollercoaster. I find myself feeling sad, lonely and depressed and then: determined to move on, feeling like I don't need this and all of the heartache that goes with it. We have been together 3 years and I have 2 grown kids and he has 2 little ones, to whom I am very attached. Now is ex wife seems determined to limit my time with them. That hurts. I believe she still has some issues with my husband that she is playing out by using the poor kids. It is very difficult at times to keep my promises to him and put myself thru all of the pain that standing by him looks like it may cause. But, I know I am strong enough and I love him enough to do it, I just am trying to get my mind around it.
For background: He was arrested for Assault on a man who groped me in a bar last July. Since he had a glass in his hand when he hit him it was assault with a weapon. He got 3 years. ( Our state has minimum mandatories) He has no criminal history and is a devoted involved father, excellent employee and home owner. He is a devoted husband. He just made a decision to handle something badly while he was intoxicated. I work full-time and make a good living, but this is still very hard financially. I love him and miss him so much. I just want him to come home, but I know that is a ways off.
Lutrafeline 41-45, F 2 Responses 0 Dec 27, 2010