My World Turned Upside Down

I am a 32 year old wife and mother of 5 beautiful children ranging in ages from 4-14. My husband was recently incarcerated and is awaiting his next court date. We live in the unknown on what the next days will bring. I am struggling to stay strong but each day gets harder and harder and it's only begun. He is looking at anywhere between 5-12 years. Just the thought of how old my kids will be when he comes home is what hurts me the most.
sfmg80 sfmg80
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 16, 2013

Im sorry for what you are going through. This, by far is the worst experience a wife and mother can ever go through. Its like the death of a spouse, but not really dead. You have the option of keeping in touch with him, and visit him, but eventually, no one else will remember him. Your friends, and loved ones will slowly fade away with time.
I can only tell you that i have been there. That was five years ago. Now, my two kids are in college, and i find myself not quite knowing what to do with myself.
If i knew about this website five years ago, I would have asked many questions, and now looking back, i would say to myself: be strong, for yourself, and for your kids. Take your time digesting and processing emotions. Take breaks. But above all, prepare yourself for the journey, because the journey is long and hard. Dont try to do everything yourself, but avoid being dependant on others.
Prepare for your childrens future, and prepare for your own future. Save money, cut down costs, try to keep your kids daily activities as normal as possible, and take a day out of the week to sit down with them and help them process their emotions. Ask them questions, and let them ask questions. If you dont know the answer, tell them the truth. But always assure them that you will do your best, and so must they. Teach them to work as a team.
Above all these, give everything to God. Trust that He can do the impossible, and even if you dont know or understand why, simply continue living life, fighting for your kids, and yourself.
Dont shut yourself out. Receive the help being offered. Go out with good friends that will l encourage you and not bring you down.
May the God of all comfort be your strong tower and refuge during this time. God bless you.

Hi I am sorry for what you are going through. I have been there!! My husband was indicted in August 2011.. He was able to stay at home and work until he was sentenced which was good but we had no idea how much time he would actually do. His court date was September 29, 2012 over a year later.. It was a very long depressing year. He even took a plea it wasn't even a trial. Well now he is serving a 14 year sentence in federal prison. Our son is 4 years old so he doesn't quite understand why daddy isn't here. We can visit however it's a 3 hour trip so it costs about $200 for just gas and tolls.. I can't afford to make that trip every other weekend.
I know I got off track sorry.
Please hang in there the worst part of all was waiting to find out what amount of time he was facing.. Then getting it started. Weather your husband gets 5 months, 5 years or 50 years it won't be easy but there is always hope!!!! Don't give up you and your children will be OK!