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Today My Husband Was Sentenced...

Today my husband was sentenced to a term of 60 months, in a federal prison. We are all still in shock. The judge was an very straightforward and he came off being mean. We all attended the hearing, myself with our two girls, his mother, sister and fiance and his brother and an aunt. We all heard when he told me husband that he didn't care to listen to anything he had to say. The judge pretty much said,I don't care and you're screwed. We did have a bit of luck though, the judge allowed him 4 weeks to turn himself in so my husband has time to give his 2 week notice at this full time job. My husband already spoke to his supervisor about the matter and she was very understanding. I know that 5 years is a long time, but i love my husband and we have 2 beautiful daughters together and he is wondering if I really am going to wait for him.
I'm still worried about how I will handle the situation of my 3 year old's father not being with us 24/7, I don't want to tell her he is in a prison because I want her image of him and memories of him to be good ones.
Also, all his family was telling me to move homes, we were renting, but i told them I couldn't afford anything else and I know sure as hell they wouldn't be paying my rent, so I'll b staying here. They were also asking me about what plans do I have for all his belongings, and I said I would leave them out because he will come back home someday.
Your advice is greatly appreciated and needed...
Thanks,
Mrs. GG
MrsGG MrsGG 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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Mrs. GG, My fiance was just sentenced (by a federal judge) similarly this past week. We expected such a sentence, but not quite as high. I am still in shock, and trying to determine how I will cope, emotionally. Everyone keeps telling me to do what's best for me and the kids (they are not his, but love him like a father), implying that no one expects me to stay with him. But I will, because, like your husband, he will be back someday. This is a horrible punishment, not just for the person being sentenced. In fact, I think it is worse for the spouse and loved ones outside, who must move forward in the face of such an incredibly emotional and difficult point in their lives. My children do not know their step-dad-to-be is in jail. We were not even afforded the self-surrender, like your husband was. I'm sure that it's both a blessing and a curse. At this point, I am just trying to get through my days without falling apart. I wake up every morning and cry, and fall asleep the same way. I am amazed at the lack of support for inmates' families on the outside. There are some message boards, but nothing of real substance or help. Just know you are not alone. And I applaud you for sticking to what's best for you and the kids. And that there are so many others out there; you just don't know we are... because there's no way to connect...

I completely agree with you that there isn't much help or support for families of prisoners. It's sad and maybe that should be something to look into, but I don't even know where to start. Hang in there =) He will appreciate what you do and hopefully you cheer up as well.

Hello, I am 28 years old and I have been married for just over a year. My husband has now been in prison for 2 months and got sentenced to 8 years, 4 served and the rest on probation. It is an extremely tough situation as we wanted to start our family soon. On top of it all, he's british and I'm Canadian. So I am in the uk at the moment, as that is where he is in prison. I have taken a leave from my job in Canada and I will be here with his family until I need to renew my visa. My husband phones home every day and I can email him as often as I like, he replies back in a letter through the mail. The hardest thing for me is that there are so many mixed emotions... I'm angry, sad and ok all in the same day. Of course i will wait for him , he was afraid of me leaving. I've been very open with him and told him that i wouldn't be able to do it again. You need to keep yourself busy, learn a new thing, talk to your close friends and if you ever feel angry , you vent to family or a close friend. I don't let my husband hear that I'm angry or upset, because the last thing I want him to do is sit in 4 walls and feel down about what's happened. Write to him, send him pictures, visit him. Time starts to fly ... I can't believe it's already been 2 months for me,'feels lIke it was only yesterday. Only time will heal the pain and every day gone is a day closer to him coming home.
Best of luck and I hope to hear about youre doing. I have a long time to go yet.

thanks for your comments, i know we will talk much on the phone, and i really hope time flies quickly

First I want to say I know it is hard ,you will have to do what ever it takes to provide for your children .you my be able to do it on you own but seek help it you need to. There are lots of was , friends family and if you don't go to church maybe give it a try and I am not saying it to bring god into your life but there are lots of good generous people there just some Ideas . And for your emotional needs talk to people use this site for your outlet . I had a sister that went to prison she had a 7 year sentence but got out in 2 for good behavior . They have a online email system for most of the prisons called jpay so I got to send her email and photos all the time she would send a letter in the mail back to me . Hope things hang in there for you hope to here how things are working for you in the future .

hi, and thanks for your comments, I am a strong person, but sometimes I feel helpless as well, but thanks again