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One Year, Nine Months and 18 Days to Go

My husband is currently serving the last of a 7 year sentence for assualt. I can hardly believe at times that it's finally under two years until he comes home. It's been a long and difficult road. And lately I've found myself worrying about life AFTER he comes home. I know this might sound silly to some, but I almost panic at the thought that he'll be home in a matter of months.

I guess I've gotten so used to life alone. I mean, I raise the children, I support the family, I make the decisions. I've become very accustomed to making all the major decisions without having to consult him I sometimes worry about how his release is going to affect our family dynamic.

Now don't get it twisted...I love my husband. I've missed him and dreamed of the day he will walk through the door and be here for me and our kids. But I'm starting to panic a little. I mean seven years is a long time. We've both grown and changed and I sometimes wonder if we're going to feel the same towards each other once he's home. It's weird, from the day he left I have missed his snore but now that it's getting close to him coming home, well I remember that snore always annoyed me and kept me awake.

When he was home before, things were...well, chaotic is a good word. And now I have this really normal routine for myself and our daughters. My friends are supportive and encouraging people...what about his? I worry sooooo much about the old "buddies" showing up again. They were a constant source of drama and trauma in our lives.

I've spent the last 6+ years dreaming of the day he comes home and now that the moment is approaching I'm stressing myself out completely with worry over a thousand little things I know I shouldn't worry about. Or maybe I should...I'm not sure...all I know is that I'm excited and scared, I'm eager and anxious, I'm hopeful and fearful all at the same time. It's certainly not what I expected to be feeling.


 

LeighLeigh LeighLeigh 36-40, F 6 Responses May 22, 2009

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he's home. i hope you guys are happy.

That is the way I feel my fiancé has just been transferred he is my best friend I'm nervous for what is going to happen when he gets out. How is our son going to act toward him. I'm used to him making decisions around here and now it will be me. Trying to stay focused and positive it's a couples of years and lots of things happen.

Hi, I worry about the "old buddies" turning up. They sound like a source of trouble for your husband!

It's very exiting but scarey at the same time. I understand, I felt that feeling to the fisrt time my husband came home from prison... it was two years, I wanted to know all his habbits and how he liked his coffee I never got that chance before, I was nervous but exited to. Two years isn't as long as seven but I can relate... my love will be home this novemeber 20, and I'm counting down the days.. I can promise you this the nervous scarey feeling wont last as soon as he comes you you two will def make up for lost times ;) wink wink :) hehehe things will then feel alot less worrysum I promise :)

I understand what you're saying. It hasn't been long since My Husband went in, and I don't believe it will be long before he gets out. I struggle with him being gone, as well as feelings of what it will be like with him back again.<br />
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It'll be tough, I'm sure. Personally, I'm looking forward to my husband's sense of wanting to do something to help out around the house to feel useful. This will help me tremendously, as it always has before.<br />
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Best of luck to you both.

i would recommend family therapy to help ease the transition <br />
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i feel sympathy for you and i wish you all the luck in world. i hope you share how it goes with all of us