My Husband Is Ashamed/embarrassed Of Me

I have been married for about 6 years now. I have know for sometime that my husband is ashamed of me. I tried to ignore it, but I have to admit it hurts. And I truly feel I have know one to talk too. I guess that explains why he has never once sine I have known him tell me I was pretty or what I am wearing make me looks nice. I hear from strangers these things, but never from my husband. The other day he said his co-workers asked him why I was not attending an event, he lied and told I wanted to stay home and babysit. The truth is, he never once asked me to go. In my heart I know he is ashamed of me. I just need someone ton talk too, please respond, thanks. I need know if I am over reacting.
Monic704 Monic704
12 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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I know is post is 3 years old.. today ill dare to admit it tht i am and i have been facing the same problem since last 8 years of marriage. I hope tht having a child would change him, but unfortunately after my son was born, he wants me to just babysit. My son is 3 now, and the situation has worsened. I can understand how loneliness feels coz i am going thru the exact same situation. Please suggest.

You all should talk more to each other than you talk to the people on here. Communication and Compromise is the key to a successful marriage. My husband is my best friend, and a friend accepts you for who you are, the good, bad, and ugly, so there is no fear of someone being ashamed of you. Only you know your story and only you know you. Because there are two sides to every coin, no one has the right to judge. Please seek help and talk to God.

I have similar problem. We've been married over 22 years. I've noticed him cropping pictures that had had our daughter and the 2 of us with her taken after her dance recital. Just this last Tuesday I was told by our daughter and then him that I dress like an old woman :-(. When I ask either of them to help around the house they won't They make excuses as to why. She's out of school on break and he's not able to work. I'm
Tired of being called a ******* ***** at times. And he doesn't want me around his friends Also claims I have no friends I'm just sick of it all

I have same problem .... my husband never tell me I love you or show his feelings. Sometimes I think he doesn't like me or love me. He kiss me goodbye sometimes but if there is someone stranger he just say bye.. I always feel he is embarrass ... one time I bought I sausage and egg roll and when I came back he said to me you cant stop eating ... you embarrassing me... I totally cried and walked away. I didnt eat the roll put it n the bin. ...

Hard to know if he is still happy to me. Or what

Don't mean to judge but it seems as if there might me more to this story.

I'm getting a sense that Kelvin has control issues. Why are you posting with Monica's account? Please seek help. Your wife really loves you.

I hope things work out between you two.

This is kelvin,Monica is my wife and am suprise she is saying all this and seeking advice from people. First and foremost she is my wife and my life but I never think so feels this way because she don't tell me,I ve invited her to my work party but she don't go with and this last one my friends at work knows I love my wife and she is all and all to me,I asked her if she will like to go with but she says no and am used to it but even my friends didn't even go to the party,my wife has been like this but I love to death and I will do anything to save my marriage,am a deacon in my church and God has used her to bless me,I love her like I love my church.i believe in addressing issues and them move forward but she just feel the same that I don't love heart is pure and clear that whenever this happen she take it to the extreme but I ve been working on this and I know because of the past but God is my withness.i also remain quiet sometimes because anything is say is offensive,we ve one son together and am happy.Please i want her to know that I love her so much and our future is bright.God has bless us enough to complain about stuff but to be thankful in everything.Proverb 18:22. Thank you all for your comments and concern,God bless you.

It is very unfortunate to be in a marriage to where you r not even comfortable with your own spouse. As I mentioned before, it does not hurt like it use too. Thus I am growing further away from him. I don't think he fully understand the consequence of his actions. Ni think he just thinks it does not bother me and that eventually I will just go with the flow. The truth is, I am growing further away from him. He is suppose to me best friend, yet I feel like a total fool for loving him. I want be happy. I don't intend to be miserable for the rest of my life. My kids r everything to me, thank god I have them. I don't want to be with someone that don't want to be with me. I am thinking of a way out, it's better for me in the long run. He has put me thru a lot over the years. Do u think counseling will help?

Me too!!! We have been married for almost 15 years and I finally learned not to go anywhere with my husband. We take seperate cars everywhere. My husband has always been embarrassed of me. I thought it would go away but has only gotten worse!!! It is not my looks or what I wear that he is embarrassed of. It is my personality- which is something I can't change. I am happy, outgoing and have fun talking to people. Apparently, he is mortified by some things that I say. I am a medical sales rep and never been told that I was inappropriate. In fact, I have been told I am really funny. It has gotten to the point that we are rarely seen together. In fact, I would like to go to a different church so that I can enjoy being who I am, join in discussions and make friends. We have four children so I am stuck for now but I have decided to do mission work in another country once the kids are raised. If it was looks or weight- I could understand but it is my core personality that he is ashamed of. At home, he likes it because I keep the family going- keep the schedule- make double the money- etc... He owns his own business so everyone think he is super successful when it is actually my salary that is the bulk of the family money. I am tired of feeling nervous around him in public and as time goes on- I will seperate more and more. <br />
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My question is- how do I find friends or make friends? I am so isolated with work and the children that I don't have time for me. His friends are not mine because he is too embarrassed to introduce me.

I have prayed about the situation. Although I have a strong faith, I am still human and it still hurts. I have dealt with infidelity earlier in this relationship as well. I must admit that I am getting stronger, because when things like this would happen, I would just cry myself to sleep at night, but now, I just look at a whole different way. I dont want to put my married in the "i dont care" category, but I know that I will just began to draw back from him. I recently just gave birth 4 months ago, so I know i cant blame the way I am feeling on post-partum depression, because he has alway treated me this way, even before the birth. Thank you so much for replying. I cant tell my friends or family about the way I am feeling, because I am too ashamed to let people know. When they see our family, they feel we are so very happy. That is because I put up this act like I am happy when really I am not. Just dont know what to do really.

I think you need to first define why he would be embarrassed of you....I don't know the circumstances however if it is a physical reason than you will have to work through that yourself. Never allow some one to make your self esteem as nothing. You must also not allow someone to define you. I am not wanting to judge at all but it seems as if this is what you have done. I use to have extreme low self esteem in my early 20's but the Most High himself helped me.