Half My Heart Is Gone, For a Short Time.

I was thinking about how I used to feel when my husband was away. I used to sit crying for days in my P.J's thinking to myself how could I go on without my husband. Life is ever so changing and the loss of the other half of my heart was gone but not forever but for a short time. I would think of how much he was missing and cry. We have three children and he will miss so much but yet I will see them grow. Then it occurred to me just how selfish I was to just be thinking about my own needs. I would be scared for him. What if something were to happen? But then in turn it would change back to myself and how could I cope? How could I go on? I knew in my heart I could manage but I wouldn't want to. i couldn't just stop my life. I believe firmly that God is in charge and if its his will for us its our time to pass we will. My brother in law died last week. He was a healthy 28yr old. With two children 10 and 9. He was a father and a husband. Now I sit and think all of those times I worried and still worry when Steven is away and yet my brother in law just died without warning. Something can happen to any of us at anytime without any warning. So tomorrow I will make a long journey down to Southern Oregon to be with my sister and her children. But in my heart I feel sadness for her and her children because at the end of the day I still have my husband and even though my half my heart is on deployment and gone. He will return.x

AmericanAngel04 AmericanAngel04
Mar 2, 2009