She Died And Noone Told Me!

my friend i met in 2009 when admited to the hospital she was also a patient. she was dieiny of pancreatitis and i had an idea of that, but i didn't know she was dying. anyways she died may or june this year (2010) and noone told me until the first of october, i lost contact with her and called one of her friends she told me to call when we lose contact, and he left me a voice mail that she died and how she died and when. noone in the family had the desency to tell me. they knew we were close and that i lived in a different state. we mailed eachother through regular mail. sometimes she mailed right back sometimes it took along time that's why i didn't suspect anything for the first 3 or 4 months.she's a very busy person. when we were in the hospital i taught her how to make shapes out of paper clips and she made me a pink heart and a yellow star, and later she mailed me some paper clips, i love paper clips. i was hospitalized this year(2010) i was there because i attempted suicide because i found ot she died, and they lost my pink heart she gave me. i always had a necklace of paper clips with her heart over mine and now it's gone and i miss it so much. i'll never see it again. so now i have the star hanging on my wall with the paper clips and a card she gave me. she usually called so i don't have any other letters or cards, just one. i miss hearing her voice, and i forgot what she sounded like. i made her a promice i wouldn't hurt myself until i told someone first, so our promice has kept me from cutting since 2009. i have atempted but i would like to put it behind me for now and just focus on life because that's what she would want me to do, and i'll hold onto the star, the card, and the paperclips forever.
love you Karen :)
smteachersrule1
childcalledit childcalledit
26-30, T
Nov 6, 2010