Oh Boy

My 7 year old son was on the computer last night,  as I worked on dinner.  When he quit and went upstairs,  I jumped on to finish an article I had started earlier.  I clicked on my history and I see 

"Google search....Big Boobs"

He checked out a few pages.    Then I see

"Google search....Really Big Boobs"

That made me laugh out loud.  But then I knew I had to put on the Mommy Hat,  and take care of business.  I said, " I know what you were looking at on the computer and we will talk about it when Dad gets home."  That "deer in the headlights"  look is sooooo adorable.  Don't you think?

We sat the boy down and said he was not in trouble.  It's okay to be curious.  But he should bring his questions to us,  not the internet.  The internet is not always true,  but we will always be honest and tell him the truth.  (Now he's getting the "when will this end look")  We went on to say,  he is not allowed to look at that stuff anymore or he will be locked out of the computer.  ("why are you doing this to me look")  I'm pretty sure by now,  he was nearing the tuned out stage  (you're losing me here face)    So we added just one more thought.... 

"We will always know everything you do on that computer.  We have ways through history to see EVERYTHING."

I'm not quite sure how to describe the look he had at that point.  Disappointed, for sure.

Lilt Lilt
163 Responses Dec 7, 2009

Love this story. It took my friends kids about 15 seconds to get around the parental controls~ eventually they outsmart you. I applaud your efforts. mini

Mini, now the "parental controls" are to keep the parents out!

Wait til he learns to clear history. Why not put up parental controls setting?

BRAVO...GOOD PARENTS!! You guys got this down pat. :)

This is SO funny.

I think so too, Damsel. :-)
He saw the "special" health film on reproduction last Spring. I am pretty sure it scared the hell out of him. Sometimes too much information is not such a good thing. Ha!

LOL. I can remember seeing one of those and being appalled,

It's been awhile since I wrote this story. My guy is now going on 12. We have kept a close eye on his Internet activity, no boobs that we know of. I think those 40DDDDD's left quite an impression. I think it's cool that you are keeping the communication open with your boys, Happiness.

LOL.. they are so sweet . I have had many discussions with my 2 boys about things like that . I'm glad my 9 year old still doesn't "get it " why boys like "boobs n stuff "... i'll be happy if he stays like that, for quite a while longer .

Cute story,, children do have the most expressive faces, guess they haven't learned how to hid their reactions,, and maybe that's not such a bad thing. It's nice the way you can read him as well.

Dave, this is son #3. I have gotten pretty good at this over the years. :-)

That's pretty funny. I think I was just a little older, like eight maybe when I decided to look up naked women. The only thing was I spelled 'naked' wrong, so when my mom saw the search history later that night she laughed hysterically. To this day she tells that story, to this day. And just in case you're wondering, my search was 'naced ladies'.

Thats funny! LOL 7 yrs old and knows about boobies. Kids sure grow up fast these days. I was 16 or 17 before I got a look............many years ago

I know, Crowbar. I think a lot about how the Internet has stolen so much innocence.
And not just innocence from children. Adults are just as naive about their online relationships.
It is just sad.

Update 2013...
The boy was tortured with a film on "Human Development" this week in Health class. Yeah, that one.
His review: "Nasty"

Oh so he is no the eleven year old I read about in the other story? Damn! This kid is really developing! ;-)

The developing part is what has him all grossed out!

You should remind him that he once googled really big boobs.

Or maybe not. ; )

Probably not :-/

1 More Response


One of my favorite subj.... uh... stories EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

This sure brings back mammaries .....


"mammeries"? Really?

ok. i giggled.

I still giggle at this story from time to time. I'm glad someone revived it. : )

Oh good! I did something right for a change.... ;-)

This one has been one of my favorites...maybe because my kids were too young to google when she wrote it....but as they're both boys, I'm sure I'll be crying on Lilt's shoulder soon enough...

That you will, once. That you will...

yeeeah. The oldest is 8....the younger 6. The older one has already "kissed" a girl. And is obsessed with them. But I am hoping that video games will eclipse the females for a few more years. The younger one is only obsessed with "Princess Peach" from Mario. Surely no earthly chick could compare....

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Ambroseguy, you may want to step away from the screen as you search.
Some of these really big boobs take up an entire room. Just shocking!

LMAO thanks for the warning, Lilt! And the amusing stories! Love them.... ;-)

Damn! I sympaThize for him!!! Lol. Now I have to go see the difference between 'Big' and 'Really Big' is! ;-)

Ohhhhh dear lord.... I do not look forward to that one... I am unsure if I will be as level headed about it as your were, but I shall try and use your example as a guidepost ;)

Or maybe you are more of "leg man," Waterloo.

Your kid is a genius!<br />
<br />
Or maybe, I was just a slow starter... ;)<br />
<br />
Great story :)

Thank goodness the older kids are too disgusted to actually say anything about their discoveries.<br />

I love this story Lilt ... I love the way you describe the look on his face during the process of interrogation ... lol ... and I too believe that these situations come around to haunt us in ways we can only have nightmares about ... being found out by our kids for being less than a "paragon of virtue" is not an enviable situation at all! I speak from experience here!

Haha! I browse 'incognito' so the kids can't see :-)

Just whatchoo lookin' at, Scoobs?

Socks. I love socks.

Funny how things come full circle like that :-)

It is kind of funny. My kids, who are all adults, check history to see what I've been looking at on the computer. Lol

Good answer, Bleed!<br />
*I was going to say 18*

That's a lot of hits!<br />
<br />
And Fire.......at least wait till he's 16.

By 16 he'll be seeing the real thing.

And watching ****.........

Dearest Firegod, this story was written 3 years ago. The kid still doesn't look up boobie stuff.<br />
He knows we are watching.<br />
<br />
Please don't teach your kids to hide their stuff. You may regret it someday. One of my friends recently discovered her teenaged son was chatting with some freaky bondage couple.<br />
It is scary out there.

I'm not sure how that would all go down in my house. The wife would be pissed, but I'd be laughing on the inside. After she was gone I would probably give a lesson on clearing histories and temporary internet folders

Billions of big boobs.<br />
<br />
* one billion more hits*

Like, a billion.

I had not thought of that.<br />
Well damn it, it should have a few more million views then.

Maybe it comes up on google whenever someone searches for really big boobs.

I'll tell you what I'm not so sure about, Scoobs. I just saw that this story has over a million views.<br />

I'm not so sure about that.

If Google works for 7 yr.olds, I think you will be able to make it work for you, Scoobs.

Do you by chance remember any of those links? Purely research for scientific evidence on um the thing I am working on.

um...no you would not,Babs.

just show him your **** as im sure hes had a taste of then already. perhaps hes just hungry and is just checking out new recipies, i check out new recipies all day long,then he would be contented and not future obese,obesity is rising amongs kids, maybe teatchers should follow this handy hint thus stallin the rise in mc burger unhealthy kids, his fetish is healtthy ,ask your hubby im sure he feels hungry at times and checks girls out to ward off his famine do u really want a toad of a kid??? i doupt it. let him grow up happy not fat, dr jam

Dr. Jam, I appreciate your concern for my son and husband's dietary health. Don't worry he' a happy toad.

Wowza! That sounds like a very impressive show.<br />
It's going to take me awhile to get over "Grandpa's jock strap."

OMG...They sure grow up fast...my 8 year old grandson and 6 year old grandaughter love to go through my closet and play dress up..sometimes granpa clothes sometimes mine ( shoes included). My husband has a home office and often has clients to the house ( private office entrance) well the kiddies picked a day to play dress up, I didn't pay much attention ( mommy moment) without my knowledge my husband had out of the country clients in his office and here come the kiddies wearing down to my underwear stuffed with sox, and granpas jock strap on the outside of the clothes strutting past the outside glass doors.which were like mirrors..They stood there admiring themselves..my husband made some comment and I went and retrieved them...My daughter says it's moments like these that keep me young...now if only it erased the wrinkles....weedbychoice

"You weren't downloaded, you were born."<br />
That is freaking fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not children...even marriage isnt on my cards yet!!<br />
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...but seriously some of the ques kids ask!<br />
My cousin has a hard time explaining my nephew..."No!You were NOT downloaded!You were born..!!"<br />
but you are starting to scare me!!*cowers in corner* vomit projectile *gulps*

Don't be worried...be ready for anything!<br />
<br />
As a parent, you find yourself saying and doing things you could never imagine.<br />
Like "I told you to stop licking your brother"s leg!"<br />
or<br />
Trying to catch projectile vomit before it hits the couch.

=D<br />
now i'm really worried!!

It's a race alright! I'm always trying to keep up.

LoL...Kids!!they are their own fabulous race!

Good idea, Em!

Oh gee, another 18-20 yr.old giving me parenting advice.<br />
Isisinha, I have been a mother longer than you have been alive.<br />
<br />
"and he is just a kid!" You said it yourself.<br />
We most certainly did not scare him. We said straight up that he did nothing wrong.<br />
We also said that the internet is not always true of real. His curiousness is healthy. I get that.

OMG! My Son is 7! * HEads for home to check out computer history!*

Look, i think everybody needs to have privacity, even a kid.<br />
Do you think what he was doing was wrong? every kid, being girl or boy, have curiosities. If you wanted your son to talk with you about everything, you should show him he could talk about everything and that he could absolutly trust on you and trust doesn´t have nothing with OBLIGATING him to tell, that´s very diferent!<br />
What u showed your son is that u and your husband will always invade his privacity, and i wouldn´t be surprised with he grows and became an adolescent that can´t and doesn´t fell confortable with you, just because YOU don´t give him SPACE!<br />
What you should have done was to realize that he is growing and that he is starting to have some curiosities... and that you should talk more about diferent issues with him (not scaring the boy the way you did) and he is just a kid! you should let him discover the things by himself sometimes! That´s very important in everybody lives. So the next time you discover something new about him, start talking about the issue without mentioning the boy that u discovered this or that, and that you will always know what he does! <br />
Even he tells u something he didn´t know u already knew, it´s good to see we could win our kids trust...<br />
Sorry about the errors, i´m brazilian and i was just here doing... don´t know what

Bleed, that is adorable. Girls seem to grow-up faster than boys. Especially princesses and daisies!<br />
<br />
You got that right, Firegod. The internet has killed a lot of life's mysteries.

I don't know, when it comes to questions about big boobs, th internet is a wealth of information...

Thanks for this. My 7 year old just confessed to having a dream where princess peach and daisy were chasing him for kisses. I thought I had more time, kids grow up too fast these days!

Thanks for this. My 7 year old just confessed to having a dream where princess peach and daisy were chasing him for kisses. I thought I had more time, kids grow up too fast these days!

I had no idea they had that option, Cabbie! <br />
I'm on it...<br />
Thank you!

Yup, you're right, and I am naive. <br />
I went to my account settings and hopefully made myself a little more secure. I've changed everything to EP only, not public. I hope that means what I put on EP stays on EP only. Naive still ...

Anonymity is a very thin veil here, Cabbie.<br />
<br />
This story has 105,000 views today, yet it was written for me... and a few close friends.<br />
No such thing on the internet.

I know I'm re-hashing but I'm horrified at the stories being "stolen" and put elsewhere. Surely EP can prevent that happening! The reason we come on here is to off-load and be honest in anonymity! S'pose I'm being naive, but wow!

hehehehe....I am sure that will be my household real soon....For our little thomas will be 11 real soon......But Thank God right now the only thing that he is wanting to look at on the internet.....are War games.....<br />
<br />
He so loves to build and play his Colonial Fort...and kill all of the Red Coats

Good answer. The key word here is "responsible." The boob search was an isolated incident, for now. I think our talk with him worked. There are plenty of things I miss from the old days too, Miles. But I would never want to go back to a world without Google.<br />
<br />
Grunt, the boobs were enormous!

The world has gone mad!!! Teachers giving seven year old kids computer sires to look at? Tell the teachers to TEACH, not tell their kids to go to computers to find out what THEY should be telling them<br />
As to all those things this particular seven year old is doing -- sounds as though he is going to be Ok despite the computer<br />
As to his older brother, if he spends too much time on his machine -- well, the words which i think are appropriate are: hand, bottom, hard!!!

Good point, causeiuhgotta. He is second grade, he is assigned a big project each month. His teacher gives him a list of websites for reference. <br />
<br />
Miles, he does lots of boy things. He loves to read, fish, skateboard, roller skate, climb trees, catch snakes and lizards, jump on the trampoline, hit baseballs, swim, draw, dig big holes, play cards and board games, cook, bocce ball, hike, wrestle, chase the cat, and disassemble things (assemble? not.)<br />
<br />
Damn, our days are long...

i clicked SAD<br />
what a sad state of affairs that a seven year old boy<br />
SEVEN !!!!!!!<br />
is allowed anywhere NEAR a computer<br />
haven't you taught him how to play little boy games? doesn't he have toy cars? books?

Aww mannnnnn... I thought we were still going to be talking about really big boobies when I saw the thread alive again....

See what I mean? Just weird.<br />
<br />
I think we all need to go back to handwritten little diaries<br />
and notes on overly folded notebook paper.<br />
And pencil drawn boxes, with only two choices.<br />
Yes or no?


Causeluhgotta,<br />
I am a simple person, my friend. Never in a million years would I think that a story I share with my friends would go to place like that. I'm not a writer, I just talk a lot. But i would be very careful, if you don't want to see your stuff shared. It's all up for grabs on the internet. Goggle your EP profile name...hello! <br />
<br />
I have some concerns about the new EP podcasts. I think the idea is great, but I'm not certain they ask, before they tell. The 1st podcast was two stories from and old EP friend. She has not been on here for months. I want to know if EP contacted her before the recording. I have seen EP post member's stories on other websites too, DivineCaroline, for one.<br />
<br />
I try to be cautious. You will never see photos of me or my family here. I have shared some garden shots, but never my sculptures or paintings...or anything that I really care about! There are some real scary people on the internet. Proceed with caution, an eagle eye, and a keen sense for bullshit.

Hi Squiggly. The really big boobs he was looking at were really scary.

Thank you very much, Feather! I really appreciate your comment.<br />
A majority of my haters were young men with no children.<br />
Yeah right.

datura<br />
<br />
Under the laws in my country, one's work is automatically copyrighted when it is recorded to some medium. So, anyone who does duplicate it anywhere is indeed acting illegally and in fact, in a criminal manner.<br />
<br />

Yes Nyxie, on the internet Elmo can do anything. How sad is that?<br />
You can pluck all my petals, Destry and I'll still love you.

Well, if he's searching for "really big boobs," you won't have to worry about my picture coming up and traumatizing him! :D<br />
<br />
Elmo? Really???


You can google Elmo and probably find Elmo saying and doing really bad things.<br />
People are so twisted.

yes it does because i have googled things that had no pornographic anything about them and **** was in my face

To be honest, Tulick, we really didn't think he would look something like that up. At least not this early. But now we know.

my question is why on earth you let your kid on the computer without some kind of filering software as pronographic images WILL pop up in benign places

Keep on writing, Des. <br />
I'm making lots of money with your poems.

Yeah, and thank goodness I'm your friend, Destry. My latest book "Best of Dest," has sold great on Amazon.

Wow. I've designed for and contributed to 14 books and authored one. It is stated plainly on each title page that the book was created from the original ideas of the designers , contributors, or author and may not be reproduced. I had no idea that what we write here is open for the taking by anyone.

Anyone can post anything they see on here.

I understand totally why you feel vulnerable. I would, too. I didn't realize other stories of yours had also been...shall we say.....stolen. Because that is exactly how it feels to me. It feels like theft.<br />
<br />
I just can't get my head wrapped around this. It is a violation of personal boundaries. Wow.

Thank you for your comments, Datura. I was stunned , as well. And feeling pretty vulnerable. When you saw the story on reddit.com, you could also see all of my other stories too. We should all be aware that what happens on EP, doesn't always stay on EP.

Lilt, I've spent all morning thinking about this story. I read it when you first posted it, thought it was great and thought you handled the situation perfectly. I didn't keep up with all the comments, though--baking cookies for the holidays and all....<br />
<br />
Anyway, this morning I saw your comment on EPArsineh's blog and came back to read all the comments here on this story.<br />
<br />
I am stunned. I feel stupid and naive. I had absolutely no idea that someone could take something by another author and post it on another site where it could be read and commented on WITHOUT EVEN INFORMING the original author. This just seems so wrong to me. Especially a story about your child! Wow. Judging by the comments on the other site, you would never have chosen THAT juvenile, immature audience as readers for your story, in my opinion anyway. <br />
<br />
I am outraged.

Aw, bless him. Young children think they can get away with anything. This post made laugh, thanks for sharing :)

Oh good... I was hoping you weren't mad at me for using that bad word earlier......<br />
<br />


Lorraine.... We still have the same reaction years later too....

wow I love the "deer in the headlights" look when they get busted.... that "YES parents aren't as dumb as they look" ex<x>pression comes in a near second ! Nanny Net is a good idea when they are only seven years old. Good post, I had a great laugh

I can see "****" <br />
You must have your profile set for "I don't want to see bad words."

NEVER!!!!<br />
<br />

See Causeiuhgotta....poop, farts, and boobs.<br />
It just doesn't get any funnier than that :-/