Lost Everthing


My dad was born rich and upper-class. He was engaged to one of the most desired women in Wichita.( I was later her lover for 10 years)

He lost everything when he got my mother pregnant.

He was disinherited. Like a fool he married my mother and even named me after his dad. It didn't work.

I was considered a bastard by his family and my mother was part Wichita Indian. So I was a bastard and a "half-bred" 

 He became a drunk and blamed my mother and me for his fall from grace.

I am glad they are both dead.

My curse-‘'May you lie in your grave with the stench and the smell, never to go to heaven or to hell." ...Blessed Be...DD   

Dewduster Dewduster
66-70, M
6 Responses Feb 9, 2009

I have met many on EP who have had it worse. Some people never should have had children...DD

That sounds like it would be more than hard for any child to endure. After a childhood of all the pain, shame, and disfunction that when on, with it robbing some of your adulthood too, it only makes sense that the deep emotions still exsist. Your talking about your inner-core.

And thank you BrutMystik. At age 65 I am dealing with it.<br />
Although I was surprised at how intense I still felt when I wrote this story. No child should have to live like I did. Plus I know some had worse....DD

I wish I had sound words of some kind for this situation...but all I can feel is compassion. I am sorry you had it so bad with your father.

Thank you dragonofdeath.

that is very deep let your soul fly free from hurt and may the blessing begin to fall upon your grace.