Feeling Insecure.

Why do I feel insecure if I don't outright know if someone finds me attractive or not? If i'm not SURE they are into me or they don't express if they are or not, I feel upset. I'm not sure if this is just ego causing me to feel this way, or a need to feel liked and justified. And it's not just feeling insecure about whether they like me or not, it's not knowing how to act around them if I'm not sure. And if I know they are not into me I don't know how to act either. It's like all or nothing for me. You either like me like that or i dont know how to be normal with u. ugghh.
marleychick23 marleychick23
22-25, F
3 Responses Dec 9, 2012

you are a beauty ever seen on this planet. Why you think like disgusted.

We all have a need to be validated in some way. but like myself you seek it through others which isn't a terrible thing. I guess I did well though when I validated you immediately.

If normal for you is knowing that someone finds you attractive you are lucky. Don't feel insecure about it, be grateful that you have lead a life that allows you to feel this way.

The old, but fairly useless advice of 'just be yourself' seems like the right one to give here... treat men who "aren't into you" like your girlfriends. They won't mind that you are treating them like a normal human being.

My experience is that most women make minimal effort in dating men - they don't have to try that hard so there is no reason to. It might enlighten you if you ask some guys directly - its hard to do, I guess even more so for a woman than a man, but I feel you will quickly find that most of them want you...

...unless you are focused on the 3% most attractive guys that most girls are going after. They have no impetus to be nice or to want you... its pot luck with them, they have to be raised well and born nice... there is no social pressure on them to treat you with respect.

Sorry to see nobody else has replied to you so far...

Thank you for your response. I appreciate that someone took the time to read it and reply. Somehow you made my problem seem like it's something good lol It makes alot of sense what you say about women feeling like they don't have to do the work. I think I grew up that way too. So when you DON'T get that attention from a guy your kind of like "hey whats wrong with me, what am i doing wrong?". I know that's just my ego talking tho. Looks do have alot to do with who talks to who. My problem is mostly being insecure when im around my girlfriend, or other friends who guys approach more than me