I Have a Lot of Secrets

I Do, But Who Doesn't?

By: xXPsychochic56

Written on June 20th, 2010

I have a lot of secrets. But seriously, who doesn't? I think everyone has a lot of things they know or have done and don't tell anyone.
You don't have to tell everyone, everything...
And I don't tell everyone, everything. I will never say my most precious secrets on here or with anyone I know. Not even my boyfriend, who I trust with everything.
These secrets are ones from me as a child. From when I had a very bad guilty conscience. Secrets that still make me feel guilty, because I still have that guilty conscience. It will never go away. And these secrets I will forever hold in me. I don't think I can ever let them out.
I don't think I can ever say, the things I want to say, to my boyfriend, my mother, my father, my friends; without hurting them. And I don't want to hurt them. And I don't want to worry them, with my secrets and my mind.

These secrets, I believe will never leave my soul, or my lips. They are my secrets to keep to myself.

By: xXPsychochic56

Age: 18-21 , Female

194 people have read this story

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6 responses

xXPsychochic56

Oh! This is a really old story Lithriel. I wrote this almost 2 years ago. Haha.

I'm doing much better with my mind and secrets now. I've been with a therapist for 3 1/2 years now and my mind is getting better and my guilty conscience is almost gone. :]

Mar 11, 2012
1 like
Lithriel

sounds to me like you should try talking to a non biased, non judgmental outsider, not someone in your life. maybe you should speak to a counselor, they're not judgmental and they're completely confidential. that way you can get these secrets and feelings out of you, but you won't hurt anyone you care for, & no one will ever know what you say in therapy besides you and your therapist. but if you continue to hold on to these feelings and secrets it will ruin you. it doesn't surprise me you have depression. depression can be caused by many things, including internalizing emotions too much, bottling things up ,and never letting things out. talk to someone, it will help! trust me I've done it. and I am much better because of it.

Feb 26, 2012
1 like
xXPsychochic56

Yeah exactly. :] I believe the same thing.

Jun 23, 2010
1 like
susieqt1

Some secrets, I believe should always remain within us. They serve no purpose to reveal them. We all carry some but here on EP is actually a safe place to just let them out in secrecy.

Jun 21, 2010
1 like
xXPsychochic56

Well, I already did that this week. I told my best friend of 15 years, how much her depression is effecting me. And that it's really hard to be her friend, because she's always upset and never seems happy. It's so hard for me to be around her, because I'm a people pleaser. I love to make the people I love happy. And whenever I tried with her, it failed and back stabbed me.

I just couldn't deal with her extreme depression, while I myself am trying to deal with my own problems.

So I came out and told her almost everything, and I hurt her so bad. I feel terrible about it, but I knew i would be the only one to do it.

That's why I believe that everything you think and feel shouldn't always come out. Cause they can cause unimaginable pain that you never thought was possible.

Jun 21, 2010
1 like
anisse113

cool bt u know, i think sometimes we have to tell someone how we feel sometimes

i think we would feel better if we do it , if we take everything inside us and tell it to someone

Jun 21, 2010
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