Somewhat Happy

Lately I have been keeping to myself, main reason is because I have so much on my mind. I don't want to be around people, because well I can't stand to here them complain or whine about there life. I may write a lot of stories on here that comes off as me complaining, but in life I don't talk to people about what is really going on.. I allow them to come to their own conclusions, and most of the conclusions they come up with is better than what is actually happening in reality..

I have been thinking so much lately about my mother. I just wish that she would have been able to explain to me why she did what she did, and what made her feel like what she was doing was okay. My heart breaks because I will never know the love of a mother or a father. I also know that this isn't my fault, I just wish that parts of my life would have played out better than it actually did. I have to move on, I know this.. but for some reason it is so hard to put the pain behind me and leave it there.

Other than what has been going on in my head, life has being going smoother than it has in a very long time. Me and my sister are actually getting along and helping one another the way it should be. I finally feel like I do have family now. That has to be one of the best feelings in the world. Work is the same ole things over and over but I am okay with that. I am content with how things are and somewhat happy with it all ..
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
Jan 10, 2013