This is something so painful that only people experiencing this will truly understand ...
I'm from Australia , Sydney in particular
I've known this guy since 15 mind you we fell out of touch as I grew up and finished my schooling.
I'm 19 now and recently we reconnected instantaneously when running into eachother shopping (I wouldn't say I believe at love at first site but our souls collided)
He is ex army trained sniper , with no previous criminal history and a qualified master builder.
An un authorised gun was uncovered at his home and he is now facing 5 years in maximum security....
I've never seen someone so alive and with so much drive and ambition to do good from helping the old lady get on the bus with groceries to talking about the universe till 6am or about building a his future home etc.
I'm not saying what he did wasn't wrong we both know that and he accepts that things have consequences.
It is just very very sad to know that it's such a big amount of time for someone who wants to do so much , not only that but leaving eachother ....
You can't help who your soul mate is and in my case he isn't going to be around for a long time.
The only word of advice to any girl or guy potentially waiting for someone for such a large amount of time I can give is what he had said to me " go out and live gorgeous girl , go follow your dream job , travel , have night outs with your friends "
"You can't stop living and put your life on hault because you can never control what could happen I could go in and not come back out"
He has put it simply if something happens and he is in there longer he doesn't want me to wait he doesn't think it's fair and having talked about it all before hand has made it a hell of a lot easier for the now when he goes which is in less then a month. ( in the mean time he has to report daily to the police )

It is DEFFINETLY heart breaking , hard and you want to hang onto everything you have with that person before they go but there are a few tiny things you can do to ease the pain of things ;
1. Spray your perfume on there SKIN the day of sentencing before you enter the court it will give them some sort of comfort for the next 12 hours and whilst processing
2. Get up early the day of court go for a juice breakfast and/or stay somewhere nice the night before , enjoy every last second with eachother and talk about the important things eg. Contact numbers +
3. Be realistic don't expect there going to get less then what is expected it will make your last goodbye in court that one percent easier
4. In court try and stay calm and composed , saying the last goodbye with them in handcuffs can be unbearable but know you WILL BE ABLE contact them + write your name address and contact number down on paper that they can keep on there person and slip to the people in charge on the inside as there contact (if that is what is decided for the both of you)
5. Once there inside depending on what conviction and in this case it's maximum security you can write letters and include Polaroids / photos (I chose Polaroids as my option as there more raw and in the moment ) send them photos of the morning sun , what you had for breakfast , beautiful places you go to like the beach , little things in life they truly will be missing NOT provocative photos of you as much as they miss you there is a high chance other prisoners will steal any kind of sexy photo and send it around to everyone as well as they would much rather see what you've been up to and the beauty your enjoying then staring at a posing body
6. There is also visits which can be hard if the jail is far away and in my case I'm moving states after this, so letters and visits maybe once a year is all we will have.
Check with that jail EXACTLY the process with visits as it can be frustrating to arrive and find your loved one has been moved areas etc.
7. Keep a momento in your wallet or on your of your loved one to feel always connected with them in a small way and can look at on a hard day in my case it's his army dog tags

No matter what you do this is going to be a heartbreaking and emotional process it's important to not give up on hope and love as they are never wasted , keep living and use them as motivation to create a life your proud of and can share with them if and when they come out.
I'm still coming to terms with it all coming up and it surely can consume you !
Lydiaaellise Lydiaaellise
18-21, F
Apr 21, 2016