My Husband Is An Alcoholic

I have been married for 17 yrs to a man who has literally changed before my eyes. Alcoholism, I am learning, is a progressive disease. He was nice when we were dating but he has a dark side that he hid well from me. He is mean and neglectful. The alcohol makes everything worse, but the core of who he is is damaged whether he is drinking or not. I have been sitting on the fence about leaving him for 10 yrs. We have many children together and it will be very tough, if not impossible to make it financially on my own but I really want to try. The alcoholism, the punishments, the neglectfulness, the silent treatment for months at a time, has taken its toll. I am curious if other women out there suffer from neglect more than anything with an alcoholic husband. His best friend is Jack, as in Jack Daniels, and he refuses to give up Jack, although he will "control" his drinking by not gettting falling down drunk anymore. His punishment of choice is the silent treatment, and he spends all his free time in the garage watching **** and nursing his bottle of Jack.
valene4 valene4
46-50, F
4 Responses May 23, 2011

Have you gone to an Al-anon meeting? They are very helpful.

I too am living with the same thing! 20 years. I will post my story soon. I am new here...

Mine is too, though not quite to that extent. He has been for ten years now. He drinks a fifth every 2 days and as least a sixer a day. I've tried everything... we were separated for six months about five years ago. But I love him too much. He is a good person and not abusive or anything but I can't handle the mood swings or having him over. He is a completely different person when drinking (which he only does at night). Dr. jekyll and mr hyde. He has become more distant lately. I am literally watching him die before my eyes, but I can't stop it. He wants to quit, but I don't think he thinks he can. we even talked divorce the other day, but want to make it work. We've been married for ten years, but no kids yet. I can't bring kids into a home like this. I just feel like my life is at a stand still. It is so ******* hard. I'm about ready to give up. But I can't imagine my life without him.

Wow he has some serious issues.I think ten years is long enough to debate a decision.You should start mapping your future now and don't wait another moment.You can make it on your own so many others have.