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My Mother Has Dementia...........but!

My Mother doesn't remember she was mean
Unloving
Negligent
Cold

My Mother doesn't remember she was mean
Thoughtless
Narcissistic
Cruel

My Mother is no longer mean
Jovial
Thankful
Kind

My Mother is no longer mean
"You do so much for me"
"Your hair looks so nice"
"It's so nice to see you"

My Mother is no longer mean
What's next?
Will she even be able to say
I LOVE YOU

My Mother has dementia
BUT!
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.



Kathieredart Kathieredart 56-60, F 4 Responses Jan 24, 2012

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Sufferings brings out the best in ALL.
Prayers.
__/|__

My Dad had Alzheimers and suddenly he was kind, thoughtful, complimenary, and nice to be around. Before Alzheimers he was mean, he yelled and raged, was jealous of me and my sibling--we could do nothing right. So what do we do? Take the good while not forgetting the bad, hurtful stuff. It's hard to forgive all the hurt. I finally realized that he cannot hurt or harm me any more. I said I forgive you but I will remember everything for as long as I live. Dementia is a thief! it steals souls!

Oh Kathie....You are truly a wonderful person and daughter, and this is an awful thing to have to go through. So many do not understand how hard it is to care for someone with an illness that affects the mind. I would not wish it anyone either. Although your mother may never know it, she is very lucky you are there for her.

It's the long good-bye I wouldn't wish on anyone to suffer, not the person with the illness or the care-givers. No matter what names you may be called, or what you're accused of, always keep the mental picture of what your mother did for you when you needed care. It was the one thing I held onto caring for my father for 14 years. I think that's how I held onto my sanity. Big hugs.