Stabbed In the Back

I've been married now for 5 1/2 years.  I married my high school sweetheart, and the only man I've ever slept with.  About a year ago a new girl started at my work.  Over time we became pretty good friends and when I left that company so did she.  I got a new job and got her a position at my new place of business.  Then in October her mother abandoned her and her father.  A few weeks later she came home late one night to find her father's dead body in the garage, he had committed suicide.  From that day forward, I feel like my husband and I adopted a 22 year old girl.  She was at our house all day everyday.  She ended up leaving the position I had gotten her at my work and went to work with my husband.  I didn't think too much of it, I was actually glad that my husband finally liked one of my friends.  Then I started feeling like I was the third wheel.  I brought this to my husbands attention but he didn't seem to care too much.  That's when I started to get really suspicious.  A little over a month ago, the two of them went to a hockey game together.  After the game had been over for 2 hours and I still hadn't heard from them I decided to drive over to her house.  Surprise, surprise, her car was there but all the lights in the house were off.  I had a key to her house because I would go by on my days off to feed and walk her dog.  I rang the doorbell and got no response so I let myself in.  Upstairs I could here movement as well as my husband's belt buckle.  I ran up the stairs and turned on the light.  There was my husband with no shirt trying to buckle his belt and she was naked in bed with the sheet pulled up.  After all I did for both of them, how could they?  

There is more to that story but I'm going to have to plead the 5th, I've got a court date coming up soon.  I am getting a divorce and I'll never trust another female to be my friend.

HappyWithMyNewMan HappyWithMyNewMan
26-30, F
8 Responses Mar 17, 2009

Oh my that is a terrible Event to go trough, I can only imagine what you must have felt like. My heart goes out to you! Thanks for sharing your story as it has brought back some painful memories of my past, knowing that i am not the only one who has ever went trough something similar.

The only thing that I would say is that it's not the female friend you can't trust. The bottom line is that your husband broke a promise to you --not your friend or any other woman. I'm always puzzled when women blame the "other woman." I am in a similar situation and my problem is NOT with the other woman but with the lying man that I'm married to!

Well this is not the first female friend to stab me in the back. That is why I still don't feel like I can fully trust the majority of women. And believe me, I blame my ex too. I also take on some of the responsibility because if we had been in a truly good relationship then we should have been able to communicate with each other before it reached that point. Now I'm divorced and remarried though so I say **** them, I'm happy now.

@ salj girl dont be scared dont ever let any man ever that type of control over you. I was with my x husband for 17 yrs and i thought i could not make it without him everytime we broke up i went back to him later on i could never think of how it would be if he was with nanother women i thought that i would not make it. i hjave 3 kids with him and he was never home i did most of the raiseiing i knew i should have left but i did not want my kids knowing what it was like not to have a mom or dad together or what its like to have a step dad so i stayed but once hurricane katrina came and took my home and everything i owned we had a fema camper and as soon as he got him another vehile he left me for his sweetheart and it hurt like hell i did not think i would surive but as time went on being alone made me stronger and indepentant on myself and to this day i thank god i got over it and glad it did happen bc he did me a faver now i have a wonderful husband i love dearly never trust anopther women ever @ happywith mynewman I am sorry u had to go through that but dont give up we learn from our mistakes look up move on its his lost and ur gain u just be happy with ur life and show his *** he did not bring u down and show him u can do way better if we did not fail we could not move on read the book called failforward we all learn from our mistakes I am sure you r a wonderful women and I admire you only being with one man not too many do that but she was not a good friend bc a good friend would not do that to you i wish u the best in life

Youre right.Once found out it doesnt stop - they just get better at it.I wish I could actually catch him at it. I have enough on him from the past, an affair with my sister, freind etc. Is it because I am too lazy or scared to go for the big split. Whatever it is he is winning and making a real fool of me. The problem is we have an 8 year old child.

I'm sorry this happened. I wish I could catch mine. He goes on Facebook at work then lies to me about being online and all he does is work. I'm tired of it. I wish he would just leave. But we have a 2 yr old and I don't want a ***** or various women around my baby. In time, I keep telling myself "in time" I'm glad you caught him. It's hard to ever trust again. This is marriage 2 and I made a mistake and knew it. I will NEVER trust another man again. Nor this one as long as we are together. Once they mess around and lie to you they only work on getting better after they have won you over. They do have to answer to the Heavenly father one day.

I feel your pain, I'm going through a simular situation right now. He was my highschool sweetheart we've been together for almost 20 years and married for 10 years. I've known my best friend for 22 years. I feel your pain.

Been there, done that, but didn't get as violent. Probably should have tho. In my case, it was a good friend from high school, and i'd only been married three years. I knew that she was a **** where men were concerned, but trusted my husband. Wrong. It was just a fling for her as a rebound from her divorce, but he thought it was serious. Last I heard, she has been married about FIVE times. I took him back b/c I deeply loved him and thought anyone can make a mistake Seven years later, he did it again, with another good frien, then an acquaintance, finally with a stranger to me. I know how much you are hurting, but it was not your fault. He needed something that he thought you couldn't give him. Probably nobody could. You will always have a scar from this, but don't let it poison your outlook on life or men. They are NOT all that way. But try not to find another one like him -- there is something missing in that type. Focus on the good traits you want in a man (if that's what you want to do. You don't have to have a man to be happy, you know.) Focus on your good traits and in being a competent, confident woman who wants a loving, faithful comapanion to share your life with. Let your self heal from this, first. Give your self time to recover.

yeah ouch i'm sorry this happened to you too. **** that is just well terrible.