Meanest Sister Ever

First off let me say I'm a 52 year old male living in Charleston,South Carolina. I take care of my 83 year old father. He is in the later stage of altzhiemers. And I take care of my 76 year old mother. She has demencia and is 90% blind. I do get help 5 hours a day monday through friday. Sometimes I am up all night with my dad. He has no concept of time. I work during the hours I have help. I do odd jobs. Doing repairs on houses or either doing yardwork. I do ok doing this but it's not like having a regular 40 hour a week job. I do all the cooking,cleaning and laundry along with taking care of my parents. My dad is really ready for a nursing home. Here they are between 5 to 8 thousand a month. My dad has the money for that but my sister is power of attorney and won't put him in one. She sees it as the less she spends of his money the more she inherits. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. This sister does help me with them. She takes them to their doctor appointments , pays their bills and buys groceries. One brother lives 5 minutes away. He visits once every 2 weeks for 15 minutes. The other lives 20 minutes away but drives by everyday to and from work. He comes maybe 4 times a year. My other sister lives about 45 minutes away. She has a fosterchild that is very unhealthy. I can understand why she isn't here to help.Back to the mean one lol -  I have been here taking care of my parents for 3 years now. Not once have I gotten a thank you from her. Not once has she ever asked me if theres anything I need. All I get from her is complaints. All the time I tell her instead of getting on my case she should be getting on the ones thats not here to help. Two weeks ago I saw some of the stuff she posted on Facebook. I told her thats childished to post family problems on facebook for everyone to see. Theres so much more to say not sure where to start? Two years ago I had friends from canada come visit me. I have known them for 8 years. Before I started taking care of my parents I went to Canada to visit them. We once met in Pa and they also came to florida a few times to visit me. Anyways they come here to visit me - next thing I know my sister is calling my cell and telling me I am putting mom and dads life in jeapordy having "strangers" here. I told my sister how long I have known them and they wouldn't have brought mom and dad gifts if they were planning on killing them lol. These were 3 small females - tallest  one was  5'2. Anyways after hearing my sister they were ready to go back to Canada. The visit turned out great though. But my sister tried her best to ruin it for me and my friends. When my sister brings in groceries she comes in with a attitude. Slamming them down and makes comments like she has to do too much. And even says she gets no help.....well, I'm here 17 hours a day - 7 days a week????? She's in church every time the church doors open. But, going to church doesn't make you a good person. I have so much more to say but won't.....this is just a small introductory lol
Bennie7359 Bennie7359
1 Response Jul 24, 2011

I had a similar situation, I took care of my mother with altzheimer's disease for seven years after my father passed away, my youngest sister took her six months and I took her six months. I know what a burden it puts on your family, I had 4 young children at the time and couldn't go to work because my husband worked different hours where it was impossible for me to hold a job down because I had no one to watch my children and my mother. My older sister went her own way and never offered to help so I could get out of the house she just didn't care as long as she could do what she wanted to do. She never called or visited my mother, but she told us how much we could take out of the SS check for her keep and it was very little. How can one person be so selfish especially to her sister and her mother. All I heard was what everybody else was getting or had taken when my father passed away, believe I took nothing. I just can't tolerate someone being so mean to me after I tried to do the right thing. She don't even speak much to this day, but she keeps in touch with my younger sister with whom she always talked about behind her back. Now I'm the bad guy and it hurts and I'll never get over it.