I Have a Mental Illness
I'll talk about being bipolar somewhere else; bipolar is relatively well-known. PTSD isn't.
What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Basically, it's where something really bad happens and you wind up having flashbacks of it. They used to call it "shell-shocked" when soldiers came home and kept re-living stuff. It's still PTSD.
I survived an incredibly abusive childhood. I've not yet processed and healed from a lot of it. All kinds of weird things can trigger a flashback for me. Just the thought of eating certain foods will make my heart start to pound, for instance.
FBs (flashbacks) can be utterly debilitating. They sweep me into the past, to where I'm re-living the event in full sensory detail. I have only a tenuous connection to myself in the "now"; to all intents and purposes I am in the "then". My heart pounds, I get dizzy, sounds in the "now" sound like they're coming from far away. When it finally passes, I'm shaky, cold, weak, and nauseous.
Needless to say, I hate FBs!
I'm fighting it, but the simple fact is that this is a near-disabling condition. And PTSD can be managed, but not really cured. So rather than search for a cure, I'm learning to live with it.
I'm on meds that help reduce the FBs. (Mind, that's reduce NOT eliminate!) I'm in therapy, and working to learn how to keep my balance when a FB slams into me. I have good phases and not-so-good phases.
That's okay. I'm moving forward, and I'm not about to let the past control my future!
What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Basically, it's where something really bad happens and you wind up having flashbacks of it. They used to call it "shell-shocked" when soldiers came home and kept re-living stuff. It's still PTSD.
I survived an incredibly abusive childhood. I've not yet processed and healed from a lot of it. All kinds of weird things can trigger a flashback for me. Just the thought of eating certain foods will make my heart start to pound, for instance.
FBs (flashbacks) can be utterly debilitating. They sweep me into the past, to where I'm re-living the event in full sensory detail. I have only a tenuous connection to myself in the "now"; to all intents and purposes I am in the "then". My heart pounds, I get dizzy, sounds in the "now" sound like they're coming from far away. When it finally passes, I'm shaky, cold, weak, and nauseous.
Needless to say, I hate FBs!
I'm fighting it, but the simple fact is that this is a near-disabling condition. And PTSD can be managed, but not really cured. So rather than search for a cure, I'm learning to live with it.
I'm on meds that help reduce the FBs. (Mind, that's reduce NOT eliminate!) I'm in therapy, and working to learn how to keep my balance when a FB slams into me. I have good phases and not-so-good phases.
That's okay. I'm moving forward, and I'm not about to let the past control my future!
By:
Plaid
Age:
31-35
,
Female
