Moody Or?Come to find out I've had ADHD all my life. When I was in elementary school I was deemed a "behavioral problem" because I was hyper and couldn't focus and couldn't keep still. In 2006 when I abruptly left Georgia and moved back to NY with a pre-teen and a newborn I was a mess. The stress of the circumstances under which I left plus having a newborn and a pre-teen and living with elderly parents with health issues took it's toll. Next thing I know I am in therapy, my daughter is under the guardianship of my younger brother (my oldest is now 17) and I am feeling resentful that I, the lone single parent in the group had all this dumped on me. They used me as a guinea pig, instead of listening to me just kept prescribing different drugs. Man that Seroquel ruined my life. I blew up like a balloon and I tried to kill myself. Landed in Psych Ward at local hospital for 4 days. I have a new found sympathy for those who are incarcerated. Barred windows, no privacy no locking doors, no outside communication devices. So I finally got in with a good practice. My mother passed in 2009 with Dementia and a plethora of other health issues. I am glad she is finally at peace, she was a very bitter and unhappy person.
So finally all the stuff I had packed down started to erupt. And let's face it: 45 minutes once a week is just not enough time to cover 20 years of damage. Not even close. So finally I am not at a good point....they put me on Lamictal, a mood stabilizer to help the Bi-Polar, Ativan at max dosage to replace Xanax (which by the way is what I tried to kill myself with an overdose of and turns out it wasn't working on me), and my best buddy Effexor because someone finally was intelligent enough to realize hey she's got ADHD and there is no impulse control and the hyperactivity, inability to be still, inability to focus and memory issues were connected. I am in a good place and it was a hard road to get there.
Try being a single parent and tell potential dates you live with your parents, on SSD and have a plethora of mental health and medical problems and watch how fast they run screaming in the other direction. My soulmate is truly a blessing and when I think of the hell I put him through and yet he is still there patiently by my side loving me in spite of all my quirks and issues.....I am overwhelmed with how powerful genuine all-consuming love can be, and HUMBLED by it. My older daughter and I rarely see or speak to each other and she's 17 now. My 4 yr old and I have a good relationship. Perhaps are unnaturally close but she grew up much differently. Mom was home for her and she got breastfed for 2 years. We have slept in the same bed from the time she was conceived.......yes it is gonna take some adjustment to get her used to sleeping alone because Mommy and Daddy sleepin in THEIR bed but she knows that day is coming....LOL