My Problems With My Mental Illness Child To Adult.I was born into a strange family... Ever since I could remember my mother always said she was psychic... Also when I was young I would see and hear people others couldn't some would comfort me and tell me I was a good girl, others would tell me I was a horrible person and say they were going to hurt me. I told my parents about both the good and the bad people and they told me that I was just seeing and hearing ghosts... And that the good ghosts would protect me from the bad ghosts. Well I believed them and for years I lived with this... After awhile in school my teachers noticed I had problems and I was sent to a hospital for children with mental illness and my mother got mad, not at me but at the school... They gave me medicines for my hallucinations, my mother was told about this and one time when she was talking to me she said the medicines were to take away my special powers to speak to the dead. I believed this and I started to pretend to take my medicines I would put them in my mouth and act like I swallowed them but I'd hide them in my cheeks and then spit them out when no one was looking. Well after awhile I got smart so to speak and behaved like a nice little girl and acted like I didn't have hallucinations, and then I was sent home. Then the hallucinations slowly faded until I just heard voices at night when I was going to sleep. Also for the most part even when I heard the voices growing up I would ignore the bad ones unless they really scared me. I grew up with a lot of other problems besides my mental illness but I wont go into them unless anyone asks. After awhile I met the man I would marry... We met online and then met in person we instantly liked each other... Shortly after we started living together I started hearing voices and seeing things again, it was a little girl this time she told me that this was all just a dream and I had to commit suicide to wake up, well that time instead of doing it I told my husband about the voice and he made sure I got help... Shortly after that I got an illness that gave me amnesia, and I forgot getting married... And also the voices came back even harder then before, they worked their way around my medicines and I kept doing as they told me and tried to commit suicide 9 times in 10 years. I also have troubles where I can feel things, like sometimes I see sharp spikes on the floor and when I step on them I can feel the pain in my feet... People wonder why I can't walk around normally sometimes. I've been hospitalized many times for suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts in the last 4 years. My husband left me due to the fact that I've been trying to commit suicide to much. Sadly I'm now with my mother again. Though now she realizes I have a mental illness, my dad on the other hand things I'm special, he says that a demon is telling me to commit suicide. I'm on medicines right now but sadly over the last 4 years they have been changed a lot since they stop working shortly after I get them.
Also I would like to add I want to become a therapist because I love lending and ear and giving advice to those who need it. So talk to me or add me as a friend if this story doesn't scare you away from me. Sorry for such a long post.
Eemeena 26-30 3 Responses 0 Feb 25, 2012