My Story Of Schizophrenia And Bullimia

I grew up as a really happy, outgoing child. Nothing ever really had seemed to bother me. I had a great imagination and always used to make people laugh. As the years went by my family started to fall apart, I had lost two siblings in a matter of 8months which sent my mother and father into overhaul. There was so much going on in my family; suicides, drug users, depression, that I would go off into my own world a lot. My way of coping was my imagination, it took me back to that place when I was happy. Once I started high school I knew I wasn't that same socialable child I once was, so I got bullied at school for a while then I would go home to a house where there was no one to talk too. My mother and father were going through marriage problems and me and my brother used to fight a lot. So then again I would lock myself in my room reading magazines and using my imagination. After reading magazines for a while, I started to admire how beautiful the women were. I would starve myself to look like them and then go to the gym for 4hours straight sometimes after school. As my imagination grew, the more weird people thought I was. I still had friends but I still felt closed off somehow. I quit school at the start of Year 11 and started working. Not long after that I had a breakdown and went to a psychologist, all of my quiet time was bursting out. I was going crazy. I got sent to a Mental Ward for a month and they diagnosed me with Schiophrenia due to stress and depression overhaul. I put so weight on due to the medication I went a few years with Bullimia because I was too tired to excercise although I did stop one day. Sometimes I would go into full blown out rages, smash things, make scenes in public places, alcohol and drug abuse, you name it. After a while I had enough after a bad breakup so I got myself clean, went back to a psychologist, went through recovery. There's been a few ups and downs since then, sometimes its not easy but aslong as I'm in a safe, happy enviroment I'm good. I've made some friends in the past 2years and starting to get my confidence back again. I'm now 22years old, I still have body issues sometimes, I still have a slight anger problem, but if there's one thing I know it's that my medication is lower than it's ever been and there is always hope. Without hope there's nothing. Thanks for reading =)