My Mental Illness History

I was diagnosed October 2007 with bi-polar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia. I have lived and dealt with the crippling effects of depression for as long as I can remember. I can remember hiding under my bed for days at a time, as young as 8-9. I have always hated myself. Bi-Polar disorder runs in my family, and I was the second to have to spend time in a psych. ward due to it. I have attempted suicide 10+ times, the first attempt was when I was 11. Although it has been pretty much under control since my meltdown in October, I live in fear everyday that it will come back!

amyjo3 amyjo3
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

IM BI- POLAR SO I CAN RELATE ALIL BIT AND SEVERELY DEPRESSED. MENTALILLNESS RUNS IN MY FAMILY TOO AND HAVE ALSO BEEN IN A PSYCH WARD. LOOK TO GOD FOR GUIDANCE AND STRENGTH. HE WONT PUT MORE ON YOU THAN YOU CANT HANDLE!! I LOST MY BSABY GIRL IN A WRECK SO BELIEVE ME I KNOW .GOODLUCK TO YOU AND IM HERE IF YOU WANNA TALK SWEETIE

Wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement by livinglove - I echo her sentiments and advice!<br />
<br />
My son has quadrouple psyc diagnoses to include bi polar and has some autistic traits... <br />
<br />
Just remember you truly ARE NOT THE LABEL... <br />
<br />
Stay on your meds, stay healthy and keep youself emerced in good things.<br />
~ bless ~

My ex-husband was schizophrenic. I loved him deeply, but when he didn't take his medicine he saw and heard things that terrified him. It broke my heart when he left me. I would encourage you to take you medicine, read and listen to positive information, take care of yourself, get around positive people, exercise, keep a list of all the good things about yourself. And most of all remember that God loves you and will help you as you call on him for help and advice. You are not the labels, you are you and you are special.