I can't look in the mirror without feeling like a lot is missing. I always feel like I'm very unattractive... I don't say it for attention, I've felt that way almost all my life. lately I haven't been able to look in the mirror without wanting to cry. I always think of ways I can look better. lose weight, wear make up, straighten my hair until it can't be straighten anymore just because j get sick of looking at my curly hair.
at times i want to just literally scratch at my face because it hate it at times... it's so horrible and embarrassing how someone calls me pretty and i have to just take it and say thanks instead of telling myself "he/she is right you're very pretty".~
I have such a dark hateful side to me that even scares me. I simply do not recognize myself when i get this way, it's like I turn into something outside or myself it that deep depressive side of me that rarely comes out physically rather than mentally or emotionally. there have been times when I had to literally stop myself from talking and had to keep myself from doing something because my mind can be masked by this dark think and I lose sight of what's right and I do wrong.
some don't realize how much of me I have to keep to myself, how much I have in my back and shoulders... how many times I cry, how many times I've stepped outside of myself and said rude things to me. how sensitive I truly I am, I easy it is for me to cry, how much I can hate myself, how much I'm disgusted with myself everyday.~
mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
22-25, F
9 Responses Sep 28, 2015

Don't worry you are beautiful

Love, love, love yourself because you are beautiful just the way you are. ❤️

I go through the same thing. Body Dysmorphic Disorder is hard, if that is what you have. People can tell you you are pretty, but you think they are lying. They can tell you to ignore the world's beauty standards, but you can't. You are not alone. I'm struggling with this, especially now as I am about to get married and start being with a man for the first time. If you need to talk, message me. I'm more than willing to help/listen/support/whatever you need. Just don't think it's hopeless. Trust me... It isn't. There is a way to cope and get better.

If you think your ugly now, wait until you get older! As you get older you should start feeling better about yourself. We're all insecure when we're young. Always do the right thing and you'll start feeling better about yourself.

If I'm in boy guise I won't look in the mirror! If I do I hate what I see! The only relief I have have is to put on my girl and even that is beginning to fail! I have to find the strength to understand that I am just doing the best I can to keep it all together. And looking at what I have and not what I don't have!

Have you ever heard of body dismorphic disorder? I have it and I share similar symptoms

yes I've always thought I had it but then again I thought I was just being dumb and insecure for no reason.

Understandable, if you'd like to chat about it I am always liking to hear what other people have to say about bdd

*hug* I hope you feel better soon. You can always talk to me or anyone else on this site if you want help.

The feeling that there is something nasty and impure inside me, an ugliness no one seems to see, but it's obvious to me in the mirror haunted me for my entire youth.

thats no good : why don't you tell me these things? maybe i could help

I don't enjoy telling people things like this.

don't forget i'm not just someone!! i'm our little autism friend

well.... that doesn't mean I have to tell u hun lol.

no you don't have to tell me love :) i will not force you to tell you that

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