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My Illness Is Drug Induced

O , I love drugs. Thats great. I loved them so much that my mind will never heal or recover from the damage that I have caused. My addiction feeds my mental illnesses. I know that it does. And the drug abuse and addiction is the actual initial cause of most of my mental illness. When I was 13, I was diagnosed Bi-Polar. Rapid Cycler. But that was before I started doing drugs.

 

Meth is just one on a very long list of all that I have ingested. I have done everything, just shy of heroin. Actually, thats the only one drug I have avoided and refused to touch. Thank you god for small favors.

I know and am completely aware what it has all done to me. I have to face that fact everyday. I have faced the fact that I am an addict for over 17 years.

Memory, what memory. My short term memory doesn't exist anymore. Ask me what I did with something or what I was wanting to ask you in about 2-3 days. I will remember it all then. But not now when I need to actually do, find and say the things I need to.

I am lucky I can hold a thought process at all. I would probably be a genius if I hadn't done so many drugs. Seeing as my last IQ test was 128.

I wish my life was different. I wish I could take back that day when I first tried Dope. But thats just a pipe dream now. A decade long pipe dream.

KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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I am now on the wagon again!!! Over 2 weeks and counting.

*hugs* I hope that your story makes people think twice about doing drugs. My ex was a heroin addict and I understand your addiction a little, keep being strong. I'm sad for all the damage thats been done, stay healthy!

thats so sad,, i only do ectasy not alot just when i go out to parties n dont have any alcohol...but i really feel for you. i do