I Have An Messed Up Addiction

I believe everyone has an messed up addiction or just one out of the ordinary.

Mine is pain but more specifically getting beaten.

I have impulses and beat myself up, but it never works so i ask some of my closer friends then they throw a sh*t fit and say how worried they are of me.

I stopped asking them and now i go out almost everyday trying to cure this addiction weather i beat myself with a hammer or going to bed crying because the impulses are to strong.

Either way i think about it...I am screwed

The only way to kill the impulse is by cutting and i can no longer do that because a cop hacked in my myspace and when i was called to the school office when he told me i was screaming and crying helpless and now that is the past...no way they will ever find this site where i can truely express myself.

Ghostette Ghostette
18-21, F
Feb 28, 2010