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What's Wrong With Me?

Hi, I'm new and I haven't really read anyone else's posts yet, so I'm not sure if I'm way off base, but I just need to talk to someone--so I hope it's okay to talk about my problems here.  I titled my post "What's wrong with me?" because I don't think it should be this hard to clean a house.  It's not rocket science--I'm a college graduate, surely I could figure this out, but I can't.  I don't know if it's an issue of depression, childhood abuse, etc.  I mean I have those issues too, but I don't understand why a messy house is a side effect of any of those things.  Anyway, I really feel like a failure.  I haven't taught any of my children how to help and now that they're teenagers--it just feels like more work than it's worth to get them to help.  I know I feel badly about myself and so my house probably reflects that attitude, but also it just seems so pointless too.  I feel like I can't get up the energy or ambition to care.  I guess if my family likes living this way--I'll deal with it, but it is embarrassing when people come to the door.  And, my kids can never have any friends over.  I feel ashamed of myself for living this way, but like I said it also feels too overwhelming.  Does anyone else feel this way?  What do I do?

mollyweasley mollyweasley 41-45 2 Responses Jun 12, 2008

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I can relate, I have my own shame, I am a mini hoarder, have a variety of animals, have to feed and take care of them, some of them are birds, which can be a little messy, but the dogs get into things, and the pig is always looking to get into the garbage, I have copd, and leaves me fatigued, seems like I clean up after them, then in a few days, it is exactly like it was. I think I have this "screw it" attitude, I don't even get stressed out from embarrassment anymore. I heard this saying, People that matter, don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter. Live and let live. I went across the street, and saw she had clothes everywhere. And I didn't judge her, or mention it. I have an associate, who says I should get rid of my pig, and that he is making me sick. I told her when she gets rid of that boyfriend of hers I may consider the pig. Since her boyfriend, has no income, hits her up for weed, doesn't even look for a job, and allows her to get money from an older guy to support both of them, and she has children. Jesus Christ was born in a cave, "the barn", there were animals right next to him, and reality says some feces in the area. There is also a story about a leper that was told to wash in a filthy river for seven days til he was clean, His fatih healed him. I try to put some of my mess into perspective and not attack myself. There will always be plenty to point their fingers at you.

A) It's too late to train you kids to do anything. They will probably have messy houses, just like yours.



B) You said that you feel ashamed. But apparently, you don't feel ashamed enough to do anything about it.



C) When somebody lived with me, whom I really cared for, I took pride in keeping the house neat, and clean, and nice for them. Now, that I'm alone, it isn't important to me.