I Have A Mind That Keeps Me Awake At Night
I came to Ep to explore a fetish, one of the many things that keeps me awake at night. Instead of putting that facit of my mind to rest I found a hundred other people who think on the same lines (maybe for other reasons) as me.
All kinks aside I am a man (anyone in to movies will love this quote) who is haunted by two words.... What if! my mind refuses to switch off and runs my history on a never ending cycle. Trouble is that the stuff on repeat is not the good stuff. It's all the times I wish I had acted and didn't, wich is crazy as some of this stuff back dates to pre school. It's also the times when I have acted and maybe should not have (anyone with a devient mind can figure that one out). Again maybe crazy as most of it pertains to times when I was single and all parties where concenting.
I should also add that I am a man who is deeply in love with his wife, and to my knowlage I am deeply loved, yet when I close my eyes I find no peace here either. When I do sleep I am plauged by dreams of her being unfaithful. Something that makes no sense at all. My wife is beautiful, inteligent, sexy, indulges my foot fetish and shows me nothing but unadulterated love. We even have a simalar taste in TV shows (excluding Jeremy Kyle, can't stick that guy). I have come to deal with this issue by auto waking and allowing my self time to calm down before any alarm goes off and preventing myself from being off with her in the morning, wich I know is unfair so I don't do it. Down side is even more time awake of course........
The scary part is that in trying to deal with this issue (for any would be therapists out there yes I have spoken with my wife, not at any great length but she does know that I have these dreams from time to time) part of me has come to except it and I now start to build fantasies around it, joy........Something else to keep me awake lol
Often the only way I straiten my mind out is to think about work, before anyone asks yes I'm a workaholic. I tend to live, eat, breath and sh........1...t work. If not work then I'm designing houses, wich I guess you could also describe as work. Only difference is that I don't get paid for it and only one of my houses has ever been built. Should say by me and I live in it ha ha.
So what can I say........Ep the great escape!
Will
All kinks aside I am a man (anyone in to movies will love this quote) who is haunted by two words.... What if! my mind refuses to switch off and runs my history on a never ending cycle. Trouble is that the stuff on repeat is not the good stuff. It's all the times I wish I had acted and didn't, wich is crazy as some of this stuff back dates to pre school. It's also the times when I have acted and maybe should not have (anyone with a devient mind can figure that one out). Again maybe crazy as most of it pertains to times when I was single and all parties where concenting.
I should also add that I am a man who is deeply in love with his wife, and to my knowlage I am deeply loved, yet when I close my eyes I find no peace here either. When I do sleep I am plauged by dreams of her being unfaithful. Something that makes no sense at all. My wife is beautiful, inteligent, sexy, indulges my foot fetish and shows me nothing but unadulterated love. We even have a simalar taste in TV shows (excluding Jeremy Kyle, can't stick that guy). I have come to deal with this issue by auto waking and allowing my self time to calm down before any alarm goes off and preventing myself from being off with her in the morning, wich I know is unfair so I don't do it. Down side is even more time awake of course........
The scary part is that in trying to deal with this issue (for any would be therapists out there yes I have spoken with my wife, not at any great length but she does know that I have these dreams from time to time) part of me has come to except it and I now start to build fantasies around it, joy........Something else to keep me awake lol
Often the only way I straiten my mind out is to think about work, before anyone asks yes I'm a workaholic. I tend to live, eat, breath and sh........1...t work. If not work then I'm designing houses, wich I guess you could also describe as work. Only difference is that I don't get paid for it and only one of my houses has ever been built. Should say by me and I live in it ha ha.
So what can I say........Ep the great escape!
Will
By:
ftWill
Age:
31-35
,
Male
