Constant PainMy brain is the sort that keeps on thinking, scheming, planning, analyzing information, even when I'm trying to sleep. My thoughts run a million miles an hour, mapping out certain courses of action, pondering each move, comparing results.
It's as if my brain is playing an extremely complicated game of chess.
Some people call me an analyst, others call me a strategist. In all honesty, I'm both. I'm constantly making plans, reading information as it comes in and then changing my plans to fit the new data.
And then there's the whole flashback thing.
My brain is probably both a sadist and a masochist. It seems bent on torturing me. It forces me to watch my mistakes and blunders over and over again. It shouts at me "See?! This is what you did wrong! You see that?! Never ever do that!". It practically backhands me across the face. So combine that with my constant scheming, and it's a recipe for hell.
My thoughts burn my consciousness like they're soaked in acid. They tear through all barriers, destroy all forts, and leave a burning mass of destruction in their wake. I have waking nightmares when I sit in class, and when I lay down to go to bed, my brain slams me against the wall and backhands me.
It's a living hell, one that I have to deal with quietly because if you share these things out loud, people label you as crazy and you end up in a Psych ward...
MasterOfStudies 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 Feb 25, 2012