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All Hopes Are Gone...

18 or so months ago my mother was diagnosed with limited small cell lung cancer. She fought hard and beat the odds, for a year. We were hopeful that she would be one of the people that beat it forever.  In March of this year (2012) the cancer came back but this time in her brain. She had an operation to remove a 5cm tumor and gamma knife treatments to kill another tumor in the back of her skull. This time around we knew her odds were decreasing but again, we still had hope.

My mother is the STRONGEST person I know. Through it all she never complained, she never asked "why me?" she always said she felt to terrible that she needed our help as much as she did. We shushed her and told her that she would do it for us. She bounced back from the surgery, and I was taking her to PT twice a week, she was doing great. But then her symptoms started coming back again.

Its been about 2 months since the surgery and I just found out today that from the time of her last MRI (7 weeks) to now, multiple, large tumors have invaded her brain. The doctors said there are no more options. All of my hopes for future Christmases and birthdays and even every day boring kind of days are gone. The doctor said that her largest tumor is growing at an alarming rate. He did not want to give us a life expectancy but we know we do not have much longer with her. She has basically gone blind and she is someone confused.

To say that I been suck on a hellish roller coaster ride is an understatement. My mother is only 63 years old. I pray that God keeps her from suffering. I will take these last few weeks or months with my mother to tell her how much I love her.

This is one of the hardest things I ever been through in my life.

I am heartbroken, devastated, numb and scared.
 I hate cancer and what it does to the victims of it and their families of it.

Thanks for listening.
Hollister14q5 Hollister14q5 13-15 1 Response May 20, 2012

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Hi there..i am so sorry to hear about the devastation you are going through. My mom has the same lung cancer and I am so afraid and sad about the suffering she has ahead of her. Life can be so cruel. I hate cancer :( ::::::