Mi Madre's Battle

My mom has struggled with depression for as long as I can recall. My sister jokes that most of her problems stem from the fact that she is overweight and I sometimes don't doubt that could be the truth. Aside from depression my mother has severe panic attacks, some issues with her thyroid, migraines, insomnia, sleep apnea, general anxiety and the list goes on and on.

My father has always regarded my mother as "insane" but he is no better..He does however, happen to worry for our safety when she is having such "episodes." Since the age of about 7 I can recall my mother threatening to put a knife on her wrists to make my father leave her alone and not continue to argue with her. When my grandfather died, my mom hit the roof..she really lost it. She would sit and cry for hours on end and ask to be left alone. When she managed to pick herself up she decided it was time to do something about her physical appearance. She began using some diet pills which eventually didn't work for shiit...and I just have sat and watched it all unfold.

I feel bad for my mom but I HATE that she always plays the victim card. We always get the phrases "You all stress me out" and "The reason I am so sick, is because you all have done this to me" ect, ect..

I often wonder what will become of her life. Will she be able to ever recover?

Will I wake up one day to the call that she has taken her own life? I certainly pray not..

I hold a lot of resentment against my mother, but I guess she wasn't ready to raise children..it wasn't all her fault. I just wish I knew what to do to make it all better.
CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick
Aug 12, 2010