My Mom's Depression Is Affecting Me More Than Her

I cant take it anymore, she can be really agressive at times and accuses me of stealing her money even If its not true and she keeps putting the blame on me on other things, even if I havent done anything wrong. She keeps insulting me really badly and she does that since I was a kid...Until now at 19 y/o. Her words are just lowering my self-esteem since she passes harsh comments about me! I'm really fed up cuz her depression brought me down. All these years living with her killed me. Sometimes I just wish I was never born because apparently everything is my fault and that I'm not good at anything and that I'm a selfish person. These are my mom's words. I can't handle her anymore. I never said something mean to her, i never insulted her! It all started when I was 5 years old, when she got divorced with my dad , and until now she still does it...and she used to hit me also when she got mad.. For no valid reason. Also, im her only child, so its really hard for me... I had to deal with that during my teenage years by my own, which was awful since I had other personnal problems, so her problems added up to my list, and it still continues.. I feel like I'm going crazy. Living with a single depressed parent is really tough, and I feel like I'm falling into depression too because I'm at a point that I don't care anymore about nothing, I don't want to do nothing, I lost all motivation, and I sometimes get suicidal thoughts. I started getting them early..that's the weirdest part, I was maybe 13 when it started. My mom did not realize that my broken relationship with my dad and her depression affected me so much, and it still affects me. What to dooooo please?!!!! I can't do this anymore!
SheAfighter SheAfighter
18-21
2 Responses Dec 11, 2012

My mom is suffering from depression has anyone got any advice

Ask one of your relatives to talk to her on your behalf...she might take it from someone else if she hears that she needs to get her depression treated.
The thing is though, your mom seems content to NOT take responsibility for her mental health, and to keep lashing out at you.
You need to take responsibility for YOU and create a coherent plan to get out of her house. Then work your plan. I honestly expect her to keep crapping on you until you get out.
...I'm terribly sorry that she's like this. But she's abusive and you deserve to not be abused.