I Have a Monster
Today I died, just gave up hope. I jumped, fired, sliced, swallowed whatever I needed to escape… and yet I’m here, breathing, barely functioning, a shadow of myself.
Today I died, I gave control to the monster… to puppet as he chooses, taking me from a grand high to a sorrowing low, day by day, hour by hour, playing my emotions against each other, breaking my heart and spirit.
Today I died, I’m no longer me… I live and go on with my routine, as a distant piece of what I once was, no more struggles, no more fighting, just here, no opinion, no thoughts, no options, controlled by my own mind, thoughts, fears…
Today I died… if only in my dreams, I danced and played and enjoyed the offerings of the afterworld. I became my own master and controlled my own destiny and, in my dreams, I became content.
…today I found peace
